The Absolute Mess That Started This Project
Man, let me tell you, sometimes the dumbest ideas hit you when you are totally burned out. I was having a terrible run in late 2023. Everything I touched turned to dust. My usual methods—you know, the technical analysis stuff, reading the Fed reports—it was all failing me. I was getting desperate. I was sitting around complaining to my buddy, Jim, about how impossible it was to predict anything anymore, and he just laughed.
He told me I was overthinking it. He said, “Maybe you just need to consult the stars, man. Stop looking at candlesticks and look at Chiron or whatever.”
That just pissed me off. I am not some crystal-gazing hippy. But the comment stuck. I thought, alright, if you want me to look at the stars, I’ll look at the stars, but I’m going to back-test this garbage with hard numbers. I decided to pick the most obscure, specific point in recent history I could find and try to connect it to real money movement. That’s how I ended up with this weird target: Virgo Career Finance Report, December 2019. Why 2019? It was before everything went completely bonkers, so it was a relatively “clean” comparison month.
Tracking Down the Ghosts of Predictions Past
First step, I had to dig up the actual predictions. Finding an exact, specific free horoscope from a semi-reputable site for a fixed date four years ago is harder than you think. I spent hours wading through archived web pages and terrible astrology blogs. I finally snatched a screenshot of what seemed to be a consensus report for the period of December 1st to December 31st, 2019, focused on career and money luck for Virgos. It was full of vague stuff, naturally, like “Networking opportunities surge after the 15th” and “A focus on reducing minor debt will pay off early in the month.”
Next, I had to lock down the real data. Since I’m a Virgo, I decided to use my own personal finance records for the corresponding period. I didn’t want general market trends; I wanted specific cause and effect on my own damn wallet. I pulled every transaction log, every investment deposit, and every withdrawal I made during that month. I had to merge data from three different accounts just to get a clear picture. Total pain.
The Spreadsheet Slam Down: Matching Vague Vibes to Hard Cash
This is where the rubber meets the road. I didn’t use any fancy AI or statistical models. I just slammed the data into Excel and started assigning flags. I essentially created a simple methodology:
- Phase Mapping: I divided the month into the three primary phases the horoscopes identified (Early Month Consolidation, Mid-Month Unexpected Events, Late-Month Networking/Growth).
- Activity Tagging: I tagged every financial activity during those phases. Did a new client pay an invoice? That’s “Networking Gain.” Did I pay an unexpected fee? That’s “Unexpected Event.”
- The Direct Comparison: I then visually compared the predicted theme of the week against the actual monetary impact I experienced.
For example, the report claimed December 4th was a “day of minor unexpected outlay.” I scrolled through my bank statement for Dec 4, 2019. Guess what? I had a completely forgettable $85 charge for a subscription renewal I had totally forgotten about. It wasn’t life-changing, but it was absolutely an “unexpected outlay.” That was one point for the stars, I guess.
The Finance Report: Did the Stars Line Up?
After a full week of comparing my 2019 spending habits to astrological buzzwords, here is what I compiled and recorded:
Early December (Consolidation/Debt Focus): The horoscope said focus on minor debt. I recorded a high volume of small bill payments and finally cleared a lingering credit card balance. Success? Yeah, but that’s just smart year-end cleaning, not destiny.
Mid-December (Unexpected Events/Tension): This phase was the weirdest alignment. The prediction was about minor shocks. I found two specific entries: one was the forgotten subscription fee, and the other was a minor emergency plumbing call. Both were genuinely annoying, unbudgeted costs that month. I mean, come on, how specific do you need to be?
Late December (Networking and Opportunity): The horoscope was really optimistic here, suggesting a burst of new income before the holidays. My financial log clearly showed a spike in freelance work payments arriving between the 20th and 23rd. Was it fate? Or was it my clients realizing they had to pay me before Christmas? Probably the latter, but the money definitely showed up during the predicted window.
The final report I put together showed about a 65% alignment rate between the general mood/theme of the horoscope prediction and the actual monetary events in my life that month. It didn’t predict the amount of money, obviously, but it nailed the type of financial stress or relief.
So, what did I learn? Maybe these reports are just incredibly good at common-sense human timing and then sprinkle in some cosmic dust. It was an interesting exercise, though. It forced me to analyze a boring, forgotten month of my finance history in a way I never would have otherwise. And Jim? He’s now asking me to check his Jupiter return before he makes a trade. I just tell him to stick to the charts.
