Okay so I’ve been super into tabletop games lately, right? Saw this Omegaland Tarot thing blowing up on social media but nobody explained how to actually play. Figured why not grab a deck and figure it out myself?
Getting the dang cards
First hurdle was even finding proper Omegaland cards. Went to three game stores before finding this dusty box in the back corner. The artwork looked wild – robots mixed with crystal balls and space stuff. Opened it up and nearly choked when seventy-eight cards spilled everywhere. Seriously, who needs this many cards?
Total beginner confusion
Started spreading them on my kitchen table like a dumbass thinking it’d be like poker. Big shock – zero clue what I was doing. The symbols made no sense: moons with microchips, swords covered in algae, weird robot animals. Tried reading the tiny rule booklet but it sounded like alien language. “The Hierophant interfaces with arcane protocols” – bruh what?
Breaking it down real simple
Finally found a YouTube comment saying “just learn five major cards first”. Okay fine. Pulled out these big ones: The Spaceship (that’s The Chariot), The Hacker (The Magician), The Black Hole (The Wheel thingy), The Cyborg Queen (Empress), and The Glitch (Death card but less scary). Laid just these five in a line and suddenly stuff clicked.
- The Hacker means planning stuff
- The Spaceship is about moving forward
- Cyborg Queen = creating something dope
- The Glitch = changing direction
- Black Hole = life’s weird surprises
My first trash reading
Tried a three-card spread for “should I order pizza?”. Got The Hacker + Spaceship + Glitch. My interpretation: Plan (Hacker) to move fast (Spaceship) before stuff changes (Glitch)… so obviously meant “order before the coupon expires”. Ate cold pizza at midnight but felt like a wizard.
Actual decent practice
Next day tried reading for my sister’s job interview panic. Used the basic “past-present-future” spread:
- Past position: The Shattered Mirror (Seven of Swords) – showed her old job sucked
- Present: The Solar Flare (Tower card) – chaos but powerful change
- Future: The Floating Gardens (Three of Cups) – straight up celebration vibes
Told her “Ditch that old baggage, embrace the shakeup, party coming soon”. She got the offer two days later. Even got pizza paid for as thanks!
What actually worked for me
After wasting weeks overcomplicating, here’s my bare-bones method:
- Pick ONE question like “Should I text my ex?” or “Why does my cat hate the new couch?”
- Grab ONLY the major arcana cards first (the 22 big picture cards).
- Do dumb three-card spreads until symbols feel familiar.
- Stop trying to “decode” everything – go with gut reactions.
Seriously though – the fancy Celtic cross spreads can wait. Just throw three cards on your coffee table and see what story they tell. Half the time makes zero sense till later anyway. Still pulling weird combos like The Space Whale (Ten of Cups) next to The Meltdown (Nine of Swords) but hey that’s why they call it “practice”.
