How I Tackled My First Illuminati Tarot Reading
Okay so I saw this Illuminati Tarot deck at my friend’s place last weekend and got curious. I’ve never touched tarot cards before, but the artwork looked wild – pyramids, all-seeing eyes, the whole secret society vibe. Grabbed a cheap used deck online the next day, figured it was worth a shot.
When the cards arrived, I just dumped them out on my coffee table. Realized I had no clue where to start. Googled some basics while eating leftover pizza – learned I should cleanse the deck first. Grabbed white sage from my bathroom shelf (meant for decoration, but hey) and waved it over the cards. Probably looked ridiculous, but whatever.
My Messy Learning Process
Tried memorizing card meanings like studying for exams. Failed spectacularly by the third card. Switched tactics: I laid out three cards face down every morning before work. Guessed what each meant based on the pictures while brushing my teeth. Pyramids? Probably money stuff. Weird owl? Sneaky secrets. Then I checked the little guidebook that came with the deck. Nailed it maybe 30% of the time.
Started noticing patterns after four days. That creepy “Assassins” card kept showing up near my “Career Path” card. Made me paranoid about office politics for two days straight. Turns out it just meant change is coming.
Finally Attempting a Full Reading
Last Thursday night, I cleared off my kitchen table – moved cereal boxes and mail aside. Lit a vanilla candle for ~ambiance~. Focused hard on one question: “Should I take that freelance job offer?” Shuffled until three cards slipped out onto my lap. Here’s how it went down:
- Top Card (The Pyramid): Guidebook said “stability or structure”. Freelancing is the opposite! Maybe a warning?
- Middle Card (Silver Pieces): Basically the deck’s version of Pentacles. Straight up means money or resources. Well, the offer DOES pay double my current rate…
- Bottom Card (The Crown): Explained as “reaching new levels.” Felt like a green light to level up my income.
My interpretation? The Pyramid card seemed to counter the others, so maybe stability’s a concern. But Silver Pieces + Crown screamed “financial growth opportunity”. Guess I’m taking the gig! Freaked me out how specific it felt.
What Actually Happened After
Emailed the client “yes” Friday morning. Got their contract by noon with a 20% higher rate than discussed. Pyramid card might’ve been warning me about unstable pay schedules though – still waiting on their deposit a week later. But Silver Pieces and Crown nailed the financial upside!
Tips From My Noob Experience
- Don’t stress meanings. Just match symbols to your situation
- Journal your pulls – seeing patterns helps more than memorizing
- Bad cards aren’t doom predictions (still side-eyeing that Assassins card)
- Cleansing rituals can literally just mean knocking dust off the deck
Not claiming psychic powers. The cards just help organize your thoughts. Still fun though – next I’m trying that infamous “New World Order” spread.
