So my sister kept nagging me about this AstroStyle Virgo Daily thing. “It’ll organize your chaos!” she said. Whatever. Finally gave in last Tuesday just to shut her up. Here’s how that mess went down:
The Annoying Setup Phase
First I hunted for their free daily Virgo stuff. Took forever – their site’s busier than a flea market. Finally found the dang section. Wrote today’s advice on a sticky note like some 90s secretary: “Focus on health routines. Fix broken systems. Mercury’s being a jerk.” Whatever that means. Slammed the note on my coffee-stained kitchen counter.
- Step 1: Chugged coffee while rereading the note. Health routines? Ugh. Fine. Dusted off my ancient water bottle buried behind expired ketchup.
- Step 2: “Fix broken systems” – glanced at my busted phone charger held together with duct tape. Grabbed the cheapo backup charger instead. Felt stupid.
- Step 3: Mercury warning… no idea. Avoided sending my passive-aggressive email to Dave in accounting. Just stared at the draft.
When Reality Crashed the Cosmic Party
Halfway through my “system fixing”, the neighbor’s kid started bouncing a basketball against our shared wall. Thump. Thump. THUMP. So much for Virgo focus. Almost rage-chucked the water bottle. Then remembered the dumb note said “health routines” – deep breaths count as healthy, right? Did three shaky ones. Didn’t yell. Small win.
Later at work, Karen from HR cornered me about TPS reports. Normally I’d blow up. But Mercury’s warning echo stopped me. Nodded robotically while planning my escape route. Mercury 1, Karen 0.
End of Day Confusion
Weird stuff happened. That backup charger actually worked better than my fancy broken one. Drank three bottles of water and didn’t pee myself. Held my tongue twice when rage-spikes hit. Coincidence? Probably. But my kitchen looks less like a disaster zone. Made a weirdly healthy stir-fry. The sticky note’s still there though – coffee rings all over the “Mercury’s a jerk” part. Might actually do this horoscope junk tomorrow. Still think it’s all nonsense. Don’t tell my sister I said that.
