Alright folks, let me tell you about my week trying out those Virgo Elle Weekly luck tips everyone’s buzzing about. Honestly, I was skeptical but figured, why not? Grabbed a coffee and a fresh copy from the corner store last Monday morning.
The Setup Phase
First thing I did? Flip straight to the weekly horoscope section for Virgos. Page was crammed with symbols and dates – felt like decoding ancient hieroglyphs for a second. Realized I needed to actually read the intro properly. Found this list of “Top 7 Luck-Boosting Actions” buried between ads for moonstone bracelets:
- Tip #1: Meditate for 10 mins at 7:02 AM exactly (not 7:03!) facing east.
- Tip #2: Wear something green on Wednesdays (but not neon green).
- Tip #3: Say three positive affirmations before opening emails.
- Tip #4: Place a citrine crystal near your phone charger (weirdly specific).
- Tip #5: Drink chamomile tea after 3 PM instead of coffee.
- Tip #6: Write down one gratitude before bed on lined paper only.
- Tip #7: Visualize your goals while humming (any tune works).
My Messy Attempt
Day 1: Woke up late. Meditated at 7:45 AM facing my cluttered laundry pile (technically east-ish). Felt zero zen. Failed already.
Day 2: Dug out an old moss-green t-shirt. Got called “moldy avocado” by a coworker. Not the confidence boost I wanted.
Day 3: Tried affirmations before emails. Whispered “I am productive and lucky” only to immediately receive 47 unread messages about budget cuts. Laughed bitterly.
Day 4: Borrowed my kid’s fake “sun crystal” rock. Put it near my phone. Phone died faster than usual. Coincidence? Probably.
Day 5: Chugged chamomile tea at 4 PM. Felt sleepy while my boss asked for urgent revisions. Switched back to espresso by 4:15 PM.
The “Results”
By Friday? Zero lottery wins. No surprise job promotions. Did find a forgotten $20 bill in an old jacket while hunting for green clothes. Also hummed the theme song to that cooking show during a boring meeting and made myself grin. Small wins? Maybe. Or just placebo nonsense.
Final takeaway? Some stuff felt silly (crystal by the charger? Come on.). But the gratitude journaling thing? Actually kinda nice. And humming? Definitely lightened the mood. Would I do all seven steps again? Nope. But mixing chamomile with afternoon coffee? That’s staying.
Biggest lesson? Luck’s probably not in some magazine list. But trying weird things makes Mondays less terrible.
