Alright so last Tuesday night I was staring at my horoscope app – typical Virgo stuff, right? Overthinking the whole “December romance” thing again. Mercury retrograde had me double-checking if I’d even want love this month. Anyway… decided to actually do something instead of just scrolling. Figured I’d test those “5 simple steps” everyone’s buzzing about.
Step 1: Actually Go Places (Like Real Life Places)
My attempt: Stopped saying “maybe next time” to invites. Went to that weird gingerbread house decorating thing my coworker hosted on December 3rd. Felt like dragging myself through molasses getting ready. Almost bailed three times. Packed extra tape in my bag (Very Virgo preparedness). Actually talked to people near the sprinkles station instead of hiding by the eggnog. What happened: Met a nice guy named Ben whose gingerbread chimney collapsed. Laughed about structural icing integrity. Got his Insta. Didn’t overanalyze the exchange for once.
Step 2: Chill With The Checklist (Seriously.)
My attempt: Wrote down my usual Partner Must-Haves™ list on December 5th. Looked insane. Like, “must enjoy obscure 90s sitcoms and be a morning person and fold fitted sheets correctly.” Tore it up. Seriously. Went on a coffee date on the 7th with someone kinda outdoorsy (not my usual type). What happened: We talked about terrible camping trips for 90 minutes. Zero chemistry, but it wasn’t awkward! Small win.
Step 3: Wear Something That Feels Like You (But Maybe Shiny)
My attempt: Ditched the “trying too hard” sequins dress for my comfy green sweater on December 10th’s work party. Added tiny star earrings for festive vibes. Felt like me, not a Christmas ornament. What happened: Felt way less anxious. Actually danced. Got complimented on the sweater by a cute girl from the finance department. Swapped Spotify playlists. Easy.
Step 4: Initiate One Tiny Thing
My attempt: Saw Ben’s Insta story about his rescued cat on December 12th. Didn’t overthink a witty reply. Just sent “Your cat has amazing whiskers. 10/10.” Simple. Direct. No Virgo-esque thesis statement. What happened: He replied fast! We talked cats for ages. Planned a casual meet-up at that cat cafe next week. Low pressure.
Step 5: Be Cool With December Ending Solo (The Hardest One)
My attempt: Put “Perfect New Year’s Kiss” out of my mind. Focused on stuff I actually wanted to do. Went to that quiet bookstore reading solo on the 15th. Read my own book. Didn’t scan the room for prospects every 5 minutes. What happened: Felt peaceful. Ended up chatting naturally with the guy next to me about the book he was buying. Didn’t get his number. Didn’t need to. Enjoyed the moment.
The grand finale? December 21st as I write this. Did I magically find The One? Nah. But honestly? This was way better. I met cool people (Ben & cat cafe soon!). Went on a real date. Stopped hiding at parties. Messaged first without a panic spiral. Still single heading into New Year’s, but I’m actually kinda excited? Weirdly open? Feels less like a mission impossible now. Maybe it’s the Mercury retrograde ending… or maybe just chilling the heck out actually works. Who knew? Gonna keep practicing these, minus the gingerbread stress.
