So my partner’s a Virgo and I’m Aquarius, and we’ve been having this annoying disconnect in the bedroom lately. He gets super fussy about routines while I keep craving spontaneous stuff, so last Tuesday I decided to actually try fixing it instead of just complaining.
First Step: The Awkward Talk
Grabbed him before dinner and blurted out: “Babe we suck at sex lately wanna fix it?” Nearly choked on his soda but finally mumbled “Yeah guess so.” We agreed on three rules: no Virgo overthinking, no Aquarius zoning out mid-action, and no judging each other’s weird ideas.
The Actual Experiment
Thursday night I put plan in motion. First, dimmed lights but left constellation projector on – satisfied his Virgo need for order and my Aqua space obsession. Got him to pick positions in advance (huge for him), but I got to initiate when and how (key for me).
- Phase 1: Did EXACTLY what he wanted – slow missionary, planned moves. Felt robotic but held back my urge to suddenly flip him over.
- Phase 2: Switched to my turn halfway through. Surprised him with ice cube play (Aqua loves shock value!) – he yelped but didn’t stop me.
- Phase 3: Compromise time. Used his meticulous attention to detail during foreplay while letting me control rhythm later. Weirdly worked?
Post-Game Analysis
Afterward he actually smiled and said “The scheduling part helped.” I admitted planning sex didn’t totally kill the mood like I thought. Next morning he left a bullet-point list on my pillow (so Virgo!) saying:
- Less criticizing from him
- More eye contact from me
- Keep “surprise element” under 3 minutes
Tried the formula again yesterday. Still felt slightly unnatural when following his structure, but way less fighting. Major win? He initiated sex spontaneously for first time in months. Gotta keep tweaking this but damn – actually talking beats sulking any day.
