The Mess That Drove Me to a DMAND Deep Dive
You know how it goes. You think you’ve got a handle on things, then somebody throws a curveball so slow and confusing, you start questioning everything you thought you knew about how people tick. That’s exactly what happened to me last month, and it’s why I ended up spending two hours of my life and a chunk of change on a video with the title “Sexual Personality: Virgo Traits – Decoding the Desire.”
This whole thing kicked off after a bizarre conversation with a friend of mine. I won’t name names, but this person is a textbook Virgo—the meticulous, super organized, can’t-stand-a-mess type. We were talking about relationships, and they dropped a comment about how they need “absolute structural certainty” and “a detailed expectation breakdown” for everything. Man, I was scratching my head. We’ve known each other for years, and while I know they’re particular, hearing them talk about intimacy like it was an engineering project just completely threw me for a loop. I called BS, and they just scoffed and told me to “do my research” because it was “a known part of the personality matrix.”
That snarky comment really got under my skin. I spent the next couple of days stewing. I hate being told I don’t get something fundamental about human nature. So, late one rainy Tuesday night, when I couldn’t sleep anyway, I decided I was going to “do my research.” I typed in some basic keywords, and right there, a bunch of random sites popped up. One of them was this platform I’d never heard of called DMAND. It looked legit enough, professional-ish, but right away, I could tell it was one of those places that baits you with a free preview and then slams you into a paywall.
I clicked the link for the Virgo video I mentioned. The preview was useless—just a talking head in a badly lit room promising “the keys to unlocking the inner-world of the Virgo.” Total snake oil salesman vibe, but I was invested in the fight at this point. That initial friction with my friend had turned into a mission. I needed to see if this video legitimized the nonsense I’d heard.
Logging In, Forking Over, and Hitting Play
The process of actually getting the video was an absolute slog. I had to create an account, which meant giving them my oldest, throwaway email address—I wasn’t trusting this platform with anything personal. Then came the money part. They weren’t asking for much, but it was enough to make me pause. I grumbled, but I pulled out the credit card and forked over the required dough. Of course, the system lagged. It took three tries and two refreshes before the payment finally went through, and the video unlocked. By this time, I was already annoyed; I hoped the content would make up for the headache.
I finally got the full video access and clicked play. The video ran about 45 minutes, presented by a guy who claimed to be a “behavioral matrix consultant.” I swear, he was wearing a dusty cardigan and sitting in front of a bookshelf that looked like it was staged. The production value was barely YouTube level, maybe worse. It was just this guy sitting there, occasionally shuffling through a pile of notes.
I grabbed a notepad and a pen because I decided I wasn’t just watching; I was documenting this whole operation, word for confusing word. Here’s a summary of what I recorded:
- He started off with the most basic, Wikipedia-level descriptions of Virgo traits: perfectionist, analytical, detail-oriented.
- Then he dove into the “sexual personality” angle, which, to be honest, was mostly just applying the basic traits to bedroom scenarios.
- Lots of talk about “needing an organized flow,” “analyzing their partner’s responses,” and “the need for structured feedback.”
- He kept repeating that a Virgo’s true desire is to feel “useful and appreciated” in the act, which sounded suspiciously like he was just talking about every human being on the planet, not specifically a Virgo.
There was zero groundbreaking insight. It was just taking vague horoscope buzzwords and dressing them up in slightly more formal language. I kept waiting for the “big reveal,” the nugget of wisdom that would explain my friend’s “structural certainty” comment.
The Verdict: Did It Unlock the Virgo Mystery?
I watched the entire thing, every single minute. I even rewound one segment where he spent five full minutes rambling about cleaning habits to see if I missed a metaphor. I didn’t. It was literally just five minutes about organizational skills.
My conclusion? I wasted my time and money.
It was a massive disappointment. The “decoding” was just a re-packaging of common stereotypes. If you went to any free online astrology forum, you could piece together the exact same information without the payment hassle and the bad lighting. The consultant offered nothing actionable, nothing profound, and certainly nothing that explained my friend’s bizarre level of detail.
In fact, I learned more about the “Virgo personality matrix” that night simply by getting annoyed and doing a five-minute basic search on a totally free, non-paywall site than I did from the entire 45-minute DMAND video. The content was generic, the production was awful, and the promises were totally empty. I ended up sending my friend a text the next morning that said, “Your structural certainty is BS, and I paid $10 to confirm it.” I guess some arguments are better settled with a text than a poorly produced video.
So, is the sexual personality Virgo traits video on DMAND worth watching?
Absolutely not. Save your cash. Go outside. Talk to an actual human. You’ll get more insight than this nonsense ever provided.
