Man, I have been sitting on this practice for weeks, trying to figure out if I even wanted to share it. It’s heavy stuff. This wasn’t some casual “what does my crush think of me” reading. This was about a total, gut-wrenching split with someone I had known for nearly twenty years. We didn’t just argue; we burned the whole bridge down over something stupid—a partnership agreement that went sideways, money got lost, and trust evaporated instantly.
I tried everything to fix it. I tried ignoring it for three months, hoping it would just magically fade away. It didn’t. I tried sending a very carefully worded, professional email explaining my side of the financial ledger. That just made it worse. I realized I was just trying to win the argument, and when you’re trying to reconcile, winning the argument guarantees you lose the relationship.
I needed a heavy dose of reality, something that didn’t let me off the hook for my own mess. That’s why I picked the Justice card as the anchor for this whole spread. I needed cosmic accountability, not fluffy guidance. I built a custom 4-step spread based entirely on forcing an honest look at the breakdown and finding a path to mutual surrender. This wasn’t about making him apologize; this was about figuring out my necessary action to shift the energy.
Establishing the Spread and Setting Intentions
I didn’t use any fancy tools. Just my old Rider-Waite deck, some cheap white sage I got at the market, and a notebook where I wrote down everything—the good, the bad, and the embarrassingly petty stuff I still felt about the conflict. The intention was specific: “Show me the path to mutual accountability and open the door for reconciliation, without forcing a specific outcome.”
I shuffled the deck for probably twenty minutes, just letting all the frustration and grief pour into the cards. Then, I cut the deck into four piles, designating each pile for one step of the reconciliation process.
Step 1: Acknowledging the Core Wound (The Justice Position)
This card was meant to define the actual root of the breakup, disregarding the surface argument about money. Where did the scales truly tip? What was the fundamental imbalance?
I pulled the first card: The 5 of Swords.
Ouch. This was a punch to the gut. The 5 of Swords isn’t about winning or losing; it’s about Pyrrhic victory. It showed both of us walking away, grabbing whatever scraps of ego we could, leaving total resentment in our wake. I had convinced myself I was the victim, but this card instantly showed me that my aggressive pursuit of “being right” was the real damage. I realized that my self-righteousness was a far greater block to reconciliation than any financial ledger error.
Step 2: The Hidden Blockage (The High Priestess Position)
The second step focused on what was stopping the connection right now—the hidden, unspoken fears, and the stuff we refused to see in the shadows. I focused on Mark’s side here, trying to see past my defenses and understand his perspective.
I pulled the second card: The Hermit Reversed.
Isolation. We both retreated so far into our own shells that communication became impossible. The reversed aspect was key. It wasn’t thoughtful solitude; it was stubborn, angry hiding. The reading told me that he wasn’t resisting reconciliation because he was mad about the money; he was resisting because he was scared of being vulnerable again, and I was mirroring that exact behavior. We were both just waiting for the other person to make the first move while simultaneously locking the door.
Step 3: The Required First Action (The Ace of Wands Position)
This is the most critical step. The cards needed to tell me what immediate, actionable thing I needed to do to break the standoff defined by The Hermit Reversed. It had to be something that didn’t demand an answer, didn’t demand an apology, but simply injected new, positive energy into the vacuum.
I pulled the third card: The Knight of Cups.
A pure, genuine offer of peace. Not a contract, not a settlement proposal, but an emotional offering. The Knight of Cups is about romantic gestures, but in this context, it meant leading with the heart, not the head. I realized I couldn’t bring up the business. I had to bypass the whole conflict and remind him of the foundation we lost—the friendship. I needed to send something purely nostalgic, totally non-threatening, something that just said, “I miss the connection.”
Step 4: The Long-Term Commitment (The Hierophant Position)
If we successfully reconciled, this final card showed what the relationship would need to sustain itself. What new structure or dedication was required?
I pulled the fourth card: The 4 of Wands.
Stability, celebration, community. This was the best possible outcome I could have asked for. It told me that if we fixed the broken trust, we could rebuild something truly stable and joyful. But the Hierophant aspect of the spread demanded that this stability be built on new, respectful boundaries. If we reconnect, we must agree to new rules of engagement. No more ambiguous partnerships. Everything has to be clear, defined, and celebrated openly.
The Implementation and Result
The reading was clear. Don’t talk about the argument. Lead with friendship. So I followed the Knight of Cups action.
I didn’t send an email. I dug up an ancient, embarrassing photo from a trip we took ten years ago—us wearing ridiculous matching sombreros. No text, no explanation. Just the photo. I clicked send and immediately panicked, waiting for him to block me.
He didn’t answer that day. He didn’t answer the next day. I thought for sure I had ruined it.
Then, late last night, my phone buzzed. It was just a short text: “Still have that stupid hat. Coffee next week?”
I’m not saying the tarot fixed twenty years of friendship, but it forced me to stop trying to win and start trying to heal. It gave me the precise, actionable step—the Knight of Cups—to crack open that stubborn shell we were both trapped in. If you are stuck in a serious broken relationship, I highly recommend using the Justice energy to force accountability on yourself first. That’s the only way forward.
