Man, relationships. You know, they’re never easy, are they? For the longest time, I was just kinda drifting in my love life, always feeling like something was off-kilter, but I couldn’t really put my finger on it. It wasn’t huge fights or anything, just this nagging sense that things weren’t quite right, like a scale with one side a little too heavy. I’d give and give, feeling like I was always the one trying to smooth things over, always the one compromising, and honestly, it started to wear me down big time.
I remember one specific period, it felt like I was constantly walking on eggshells. My partner at the time, bless their heart, was going through some stuff, and I just kept telling myself, “It’s okay, I’ll be the strong one, I’ll hold us up.” But after months of that, I was just drained. Exhausted. Resentment started to brew, subtle at first, then just gnawing at me. I’d catch myself rolling my eyes mentally, or just shutting down when they talked. Not healthy at all, for either of us. I knew I needed a change, a fresh perspective, something to snap me out of this funk.
I’ve always dabbled with Tarot, just as a tool for self-reflection, nothing mystical, just a way to poke at my own thoughts. So, one evening, feeling particularly heavy, I pulled out my deck. I wasn’t even doing a fancy spread, just kinda shuffling and asking, “What do I need to see about this relationship right now? What am I missing?” And sure enough, out came the Justice card. It wasn’t the first time I’d seen it, but this time, it just hit different. It stared right back at me with that sword and scales, and a sudden clarity just washed over me.
For me, in that moment, seeing Justice wasn’t about right or wrong in a judgmental way. It was about balance, about truth, about taking a really honest look at the situation, no sugarcoating. It made me realize I hadn’t been truly honest with myself or my partner about how I was feeling. I was avoiding confrontation, yes, but more importantly, I was avoiding demanding what I needed for true balance. I was just letting the scales tilt, and then pretending it didn’t hurt my back. That card made me think: are we really seeing each other clearly? Are we both taking responsibility? Is this fair?
Taking A Hard Look
That realization felt like a punch to the gut, but also a huge relief. So, I started small. I didn’t immediately launch into a huge “we need to talk” session. Instead, I just started observing. I paid attention to where I was over-giving, where I was letting things slide that shouldn’t have, and where I wasn’t speaking up. It wasn’t about keeping score, not like that. It was about understanding the actual flow of give and take, the real equity in our connection. I saw how I’d created this imbalance by always being the fixer, the one who absorbed everything.
Then came the harder part: action. The Justice card, to me, always means you gotta do something. You can’t just see the truth and then ignore it. So, I began to set boundaries. This was tough, really tough. I started by saying “no” to things I honestly didn’t have the energy for, instead of just gritting my teeth and doing them. I started expressing my needs, not accusingly, but clearly. Things like, “Hey, I really need some quiet time tonight,” or “I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed, could you help with this?” It felt awkward and clunky at first, like trying to speak a new language. Sometimes, my partner was surprised, even a little defensive, which made me want to retreat. But that Justice card kept flashing in my mind, reminding me of the scales. If I didn’t advocate for my side, they’d never balance.
Finding My Own Scale
There were definitely moments of doubt, where I thought, “Is this just me being selfish?” But then I’d remember the exhaustion, the resentment, and I knew I had to push through. It wasn’t about being selfish; it was about self-respect and establishing a foundation where both our needs could be met, rather than just one always overshadowing the other. It took time, a lot of uncomfortable conversations, and some really deep talks where we both had to be vulnerable and honest about what we were truly bringing to the table and what we expected.
What I found was pretty eye-opening. Once I started holding up my end of the scales by being honest about my capacity and my needs, my partner actually stepped up. It wasn’t immediate, but over weeks and months, they started meeting me halfway, sometimes more. The dynamic slowly, but surely, shifted. That constant nagging feeling of imbalance began to fade. We weren’t perfect, no relationship ever is, but there was a newfound respect, a deeper understanding, and this incredible sense of partnership that hadn’t been there before.
That Justice card truly kicked me into action. It wasn’t just about finding balance in the relationship; it was about finding my own internal balance first, knowing my worth, and demanding that same respect and consideration I so readily gave. It taught me that true love, true connection, isn’t about sacrificing yourself entirely. It’s about two whole people coming together, each holding their own weight, and continually adjusting those scales so everyone feels seen, heard, and valued. And let me tell you, once you feel that true balance, you don’t ever want to go back.
