Alright so I actually tried this Virgo career horoscope thing for March. Total waste of time honestly, but here’s exactly how it went down.
First, I found the horoscope online somewhere. The headline screamed “Virgos! Seize career opportunities this March!” or whatever. Figured why not, my job’s been kinda dead lately. Didn’t pay attention to which site it was from. Just read it.
It said stuff like:
- Mercury retrograde messing with communications (whatever that means)
- Needed to “reorganize my workspace for Jupiter’s alignment” or some junk
- Big opportunities coming around mid-month if I “remained open”
- Important to “collaborate more” with coworkers
So, fine, I actually did the dumb things it said. Day one: I spent like two hours “reorganizing.” Threw out old coffee cups, sorted my disaster of a desk drawer, even wiped down my keyboard. Felt like a janitor.
Then came the “collaborate more” garbage. Normally I just do my own work. But Wednesday, I went over to Mike. Asked if he needed help with his report. Dude looked at me like I’d grown three heads. “Uh… no? I got it?” Super awkward. Tried it again with Sarah the next day. She just mumbled and turned her monitor away from me. Pointless.
Mid-month rolled around. Horoscope promised “opportunities knocking!” I was practically glued to my inbox waiting for some big project offer. Checked my email every five minutes. Nothing. Zero. Zip. The only knocking was Bob asking to borrow my stapler. Again.
Then Mercury retrograde hit. Supposedly communication goes to hell. Guess what? My computer monitor died. IT guy laughed when I mentioned Mercury. Boss sent an email saying deadlines got moved up. Misunderstood the instructions. Boss yelled. My fault, apparently. Total mess. Would’ve happened anyway, stars or no stars.
Final verdict? Absolute garbage advice. Tidying my desk just wasted a morning. Trying to force collab made me look weird. Waiting for opportunities? Pointless. Blaming Mercury won’t fix your computer. Got yelled at, looked stupid, and my monitor still broke. Should’ve just ignored the stars and worked normally like always.
