So last week I was scrolling my feed – you know how it is – when this astrology thing for Virgos popped up. Career luck this month? Yeah right, I thought. Still… paycheck’s been feeling tight lately, promotion feels miles away. Figured, what the hell? Can’t hurt to peek. Pulled up the horoscope right then on my phone, coffee getting cold.
First Step: Actually Reading The Darn Thing
Squinted at the screen. Supposedly May’s got “something about planets lining up” for Virgos. Said stuff like:
- Networking is KEY this month (ugh, small talk though?)
- Unexpected opportunities might knock (or email?)
- Don’t ignore paperwork (double ugh – taxes anyone?)
- Self-care boosts work performance (told me to sleep more? seriously?)
Felt kinda vague, honestly. Like advice your grandma might give. But… that bit about paperwork did remind me. I’d totally blown off updating my LinkedIn since like… forever. Profile pic was from 2019. Hair was different.
What I Actually Did (The Virgo Way)
Decided to test it. Didn’t go full mystic, just picked the easiest bits. Tuesday night, instead of crashing after work, I dragged myself to the laptop.
- Polished the LinkedIn Beast: Dug up a halfway decent recent photo (good lighting!). Wrote three sentences about my actual current job duties instead of the vague junk I had. Hit “publish.” Felt like homework.
- Spoke Up In That Dreaded Meeting: Thursday’s team call. Topic: new project. Normally, I’d mute and scribble notes. Horoscope “networking” gibberish buzzed in my head. Took a breath. Unmuted. “Uh, maybe we could try tracking X data point too? Might show something?” Silence. Then boss goes, “Huh. Yeah. Do that.” Shocker.
- Did The Boring Thing: Paperwork meant the pile on my desk. Saturday morning, put on terrible reality TV as a reward system. Opened bills. Filed receipts I’d shoved in a drawer since February. Found an overdue discount code buried in there! Basically paid for my pizza that night.
- Slept Like a Stone… Twice: The “self-care” thing annoyed me. I thrive on caffeine and chaos! But… Wednesday was brutal. Felt like sludge. So Thursday? I chugged water, ignored emails at 9 PM, crashed at 10:30 instead of midnight. Woke up Friday feeling… less like a zombie. Weird.
Did Anything “Lucky” Happen?
Well. Nothing magical. No recruiter offered me CEO spot. But:
- That LinkedIn update? Got pinged by an old colleague Friday. They heard about a freelance gig I might fit. Small. But paid. Maybe.
- The meeting comment? Boss actually mentioned it later as “good proactive thinking.” Felt weirdly seen.
- The discount code? Basically free pizza. Pizza is luck.
- Slept decently two nights? Felt less ragey at spreadsheet errors. Progress.
So, cosmic forces aligning? Probably not. But forcing myself to do small, slightly annoying things I’d been avoiding? That seemed to nudge stuff. The “opportunity” came from cleaning my stupid desk! The “luck” was just… showing up a tiny bit differently.
Takeaway for May? Maybe scratch that horoscope itch if it helps. But forget magic stars. Just clean your desk, update your boring profile, maybe speak up once, and for god’s sake, sleep when you feel dead. The pizza will taste better.
