So last month I got this itch to play with horoscope stuff again – ya know, between fixing coffee machines and yelling at the neighbor’s barking dog. Found this dusty astrology book on my shelf from like 2010. Figured why not? Let’s see if 2022 predictions still matter now.
What I Actually Did
Started by digging through Virgo stuff specifically cause my cousin’s one. Pulled out:
- My phone calendar app
- Three highlighters (blue ran out halfway)
- That astrology book with chewed corners thanks to my Labrador
Flipped pages like mad hunting for 2022 Virgo dates. Book didn’t even have predictions past 2020. Classic me. So jumped online searching random forums. Copied anything saying “Virgo 2022” into Notes app – tons of messy entries like “Venus thing? March maybe? Check later lol”. Way too much junk anyway.
Spent two hours filtering nonsense. Made a spreadsheet cause look at me being fancy. Columns for:
- Planet mumbo-jumbo
- Supposed dates
- What it means (vague stuff like “career shifts”)
Realized halfway I’d mixed up Mercury retro dates with Jupiter’s – surprise! Just stared at the screen eating cold pizza. Eventually fixed it by cross-checking three sites. Still better than TikTok scrolling I guess.
What Came Out
Wound up with this mess of dates:
- January 3-29: Mercury crap messing with emails
- April 12: Supposedly good for money stuff
- August 20: Weird planet alignment thing?
- November End: Something about relationships changing
Printed it out thinking I’d tape it to the fridge. My dog ate the corner again while I was microwaving leftovers. Glued it back with sticky tape. Looks terrible now but who cares. Probably messed up the math somewhere too.
So that’s that. If you’re Virgo and 2022 sucked, maybe blame me getting dates wrong. Or just blame Mercury. Always Mercury.
