When I stumbled on that headline in January – “Need Love Virgo? Your 2024 Singles Horoscope” – I chuckled hard. Total clickbait, right? But something about those “key romantic dates” hooked me. Thought, “Why the hell not? Let’s treat this like a weird social experiment.”
Getting Started
First thing Monday morning, I printed that sucker out. Highlighter in hand, I attacked the Virgo section. The dates jumped out: February 14th (Valentine’s, cliché much?), May 8th (random Wednesday?), July 19th (mid-summer madness), and November 2nd (right after Halloween candy sales).
Grabbed my dusty planner – the one I bought in 2022 for “productivity.” Circled those dates like crazy with red pen. Felt ridiculous doing it, honestly.
The “Experiment” Phase
Decided to actually follow the horoscope’s advice like a sheep on those specific days:
- Valentine’s Day: Went to a coffee shop instead of hiding at home. Made awkward eye contact with a guy reading Kafka. Bought him a latte. He said “Thanks, man” and went back to reading. Called it BS later with my journal.
- May 8th: Venus retrograde warning? Said screw it. Re-downloaded dating apps. Swiped until my thumb cramped. Two matches ghosted after “Hey.” Felt worse than before.
- July 19th: Supposed “cosmic alignment” day. Did 3 hours of yoga and meditated. Still tripped over my carpet. Ordered pizza alone. Cat judged me.
What Actually Happened
Zero dates. Zero crushes. Not even a decent chat.
But here’s the kicker – tracking those dates made me hyper-aware of my free time. Saw how much I mindlessly scrolled. So around March, I started using those circled dates for something real: freelance pitch days. Drafted proposals on February 14th. Sent them May 8th. Landed a client on July 19th. Got paid November 2nd.
Final Thoughts
So did I find love? Nope. But chasing planetary positions accidentally cured my procrastination. Funny how that works. If you try this cosmic dating crap, bring low expectations and a side hustle notebook. Stars won’t send you a soulmate, but they might guilt-trip you into updating your LinkedIn.
