My Horoscope Routine Setup
Alright so I started by grabbing my dusty iPad from the nightstand – hadn’t touched it since last month’s astro phase. Charger was buried under laundry but whatever. While it juiced up, I made coffee and scrolled through notifications on my phone. Saw some junk mail about Gemini season ending and went “Oh crap that means Virgo season’s coming!”
My dumb ritual goes like this: Open three tabs at once for daily/weekly/monthly forecasts. Found one site that actually shows all three in different sections. Bookmarks were outdated though, spent like five minutes clicking around trying to find where they hid the monthly stuff this time.
The Reading Process
Scanned the daily horoscope first – super short like always. Basically said “Mercury’s being annoying today, triple-check emails”. Made me snort because duh, my boss had already sent three messed-up meeting invites this morning.
Weekly section was weirder. Rambled about “financial stability opportunities” and I’m thinking – well I did find two dollars in my winter coat yesterday. Then it said “unexpected item requires attention” which totally happened when my cat puked on the rug during my work call. Spooky coincidence.
Monthly horoscope went full dramatic. Talking about “career crossroads” and “major personal growth”. Felt kinda overwhelming so I skipped chunks. Honest truth? Stopped reading when it said “avoid impulsive decisions” because I had Amazon open in another tab eyeing these stupid neon sneakers.
Putting It Into Practice
Actually tried following the advice for like… two hours? Double-checked every text before sending, re-added work spreadsheet formulas three times. Felt like a paranoid squirrel. Ended up missing an actual important Slack message because I was so busy over-verifying dumb stuff.
Biggest takeaway? The monthly part mentioned “nurturing relationships” so I called my mom. Got her voicemail. Left awkward message about her azaleas. Not exactly cosmic connection but hey at least I tried.
Final verdict? Same as last time – kinda fun for five minutes but mostly nonsense. At least now I know Mercury will stop being annoying next week. Maybe I’ll check again when I’m extra bored or my cat does something weird.
