So last night I decided to finally try reading the Virgo monthly forecast like everyone keeps talking about. Grabbed my laptop at the kitchen table around 9 PM – totally winging it since I’d never done this before. First thing? Googled “Virgo horoscope this month.” Immediately got bombarded with like twenty astrology sites popping up. Felt like finding a needle in a haystack, man.
Step 1: Finding Actual Legit Stuff
Started skimming through articles, mostly clicking back button within seconds. Some sites felt like cheap gossip magazines – all flashy colors and dramatic nonsense. Others demanded sign-ups or payments. Nah. Scrolled past those real quick.
Step 2: Breaking Down Weird Terms
Found one that seemed decent. Immediately hit a wall with phrases like:

- “Mercury retrograde shadow period”
- “Saturn trine Jupiter”
- “Your sixth house energy”
Felt like reading gibberish. Decided to keep a tab open just for Googling those terms. Turns out “sixth house” isn’t about your actual house – who knew?
Step 3: Actually Reading It
Key stuff that actually made sense:
- Work stuff gonna be crazy – mentioned “meticulous planning needed” three times. Typical Virgo advice right?
- Money section said “caution” – saw some warning about unexpected expenses second week.
- Something vague about relationships – something about “old conversations resurfacing.” Ugh.
Step 4: My Dumb Attempt at Notes
Tried scribbling takeaways on a pizza napkin:
- Double-check deadlines!!
- Maybe don’t buy that PS5 game yet?
- Should call mom about that thing?
Got distracted halfway thinking about pizza. Classic.
Step 5: Why Bother Though?
Finished around 10:30 PM just feeling confused. Like, is this actually helpful or just horoscope bingo? Funny how these things say “plan carefully” like it’s groundbreaking advice. Still – kinda fun seeing what nonsense they come up with each month.
