Alright so this whole Virgo sex communication thing popped up in my feed yesterday. Looked kinda wild, charts and symbols and timestamps? Thought it was total BS honestly. But hey, what’s the worst that could happen? Decided to mess around with it myself, ’cause why not. My partner’s not even a Virgo, mostly thought it’d be funny.
Grabbing the Chart and Going In Blind
First step was finding one of those Virgo Communication Charts online. Took forever ’cause they all looked weirdly complicated. Finally landed on one that had all these symbols for “what they mean” versus “what they say,” along with specific days of the week and even times of day somehow linked to communication styles about… well, bedroom stuff.
Printed the sucker out. Looked at it spread on the kitchen table. Stars, Mercury symbols, weird squiggly lines. Felt like I was trying to decipher alien code before breakfast. Grabbed a highlighter anyway. Figured I’d just try tracking how my partner talks about sex stuff for a week according to this chart, Virgo or not.
The Awkward Tracking Phase
Monday morning. Noticed them grumpy about dirty dishes near the bedroom door. Chart had this bit about “critical about environment directly impacting intimacy” during “early week mornings.” Okay, maybe that fits? Highlighted a little Mars symbol. Felt ridiculous writing that.
Tuesday evening they were super direct: “Hey, wanna skip watching that movie and go upstairs?” Chart has Mercury ruling Virgo communication, and it mentioned “direct practical propositions” peaking midweek. Highlighted that Mercury symbol like some kind of cosmic check mark.
Wednesday… nothing specific. Thursday afternoon? Sent a kinda flirty text out of the blue about something they wanted to try later. Chart suggested “surprising openness” and “experimental suggestions” during “Mercury hour” mid-week afternoons. That one spooked me a little. It actually kinda lined up? Started scribbling notes on the chart margins – dates, times, brief notes on what was said. My neat printout looked like a toddler attacked it.
Interpreting It (Or Trying To)
End of the week. Stared at the highlighted mess. Tried following the chart’s advice for “interpretation.” Supposedly, knowing their “chart patterns” meant I could:
- Pick better times to bring up anything remotely sensitive (like apparently avoiding Saturn hour when they’d be “dismissive”?!).
- Understand the “meaning behind the words” like if they were nitpicky about setting the mood, maybe it wasn’t criticism, just their Virgo-ish need for order affecting the sexy vibes?
- Predict their preferred style? The chart implied knowing whether they leaned more towards “action language” (Mars) or “detail-oriented description” (Mercury). Mine just tends to grunt.
Tried using the “chart knowledge” once. Saw Friday was supposedly a day for “analytical reflection.” So instead of jumping in, tried asking afterwards, “So, what worked really well tonight?” They just looked confused. “Uh… it was good?” Total chart fail.
The Weirdly Useful Bit?
Here’s the twist. The chart itself? Probably mostly nonsense, especially for a non-Virgo. But the actual process? That had value.
Forcing myself to pay close attention for a whole week to how my partner communicates about sex and intimacy – that was new. I don’t think I’d ever consciously tracked it like that before. I noticed patterns I’d made:
- I often avoid bringing stuff up late at night.
- They tend to be way more direct than I am.
- A little grumpiness about chores doesn’t always mean they’re closed off.
The chart symbols were just placeholders. The real chart was in paying attention to the actual human in front of me. Knowing their specific habits and patterns – not some generic Virgo ones – is what actually helps. Observing beats consulting star symbols any day.
So yeah, won’t be buying a lifetime subscription to Virgo Communication Insights. But staring at that messy chart for a week accidentally made me watch and listen better. That part? Definitely sticking around.
