Man, I remember it like it was yesterday. It wasn’t even a full-on reading, just a quick pull. I was just messing around with my deck, you know, just shuffling, not even asking anything serious. And then, boom. I pull a Queen, and she’s upside down. Reversed.
My gut just dropped. I’d been feeling a bit off for a while, like things weren’t quite gelling, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Seeing that card, especially reversed, it just felt heavy. It wasn’t one of those ‘oh, cute, a warning’ moments. This felt like a real nudge, a proper slap in the face from the universe.
My First Jolt: What Does This Even Mean?
I stared at it for a good long minute. A Queen, reversed. First thing I always do is just let the image sink in. Upside down, she just looked… unstable. Like her crown was gonna fall off, or she’d tumble right out of her chair. Immediately, I felt this tightness in my chest. I knew Queens usually represented strong female energy, or a mature way of handling stuff, you know? So reversed, I figured it had to be the opposite of all that good stuff.
- I started by just thinking about what a straight-up Queen usually meant. Command. Nurturing. Wisdom. Being grounded. All the good stuff.
- Then I flipped that in my head. So, reversed, it meant lacking command? Not nurturing? Maybe being flighty or insecure?
- It felt super uncomfortable because deep down, I knew some of that was hitting close to home.
I actually put the card back in the deck after that first look. I didn’t want to deal with it. I just wanted to forget I saw it. But it kept nagging at me, like a pebble in your shoe that you just can’t shake off. That feeling stuck around for days. Every time I tried to ignore it, that upside-down Queen just popped back into my head.
Digging In: The Real Work Started There
After a few days of that low-level hum of anxiety, I knew I had to face it. I couldn’t just pretend I hadn’t pulled it. So, I grabbed my deck again. Pulled her out specifically. Laid her there, reversed. And then I started doing what I always do when something really stumps me or hits me hard.
I grabbed my journal. Just started writing, stream-of-consciousness style, everything that came to mind about Queens, about being reversed, about what I felt it could mean for ME. I scribbled down fears, suspicions, things I wasn’t proud of doing lately. It wasn’t pretty, just a brain dump.
Then, I went back to my books. Not just the little guide that came with the deck, but some of the older, thicker ones I have, the ones that really dig into the symbolism and energy of each card. I read through all the interpretations for a reversed Queen, any Queen really, just to get a broader sense. Words like “overbearing,” “manipulative,” “neglectful,” “insecure,” “selfish,” “bitter” kept jumping out at me. Ouch.
- I specifically looked for examples where the warning wasn’t just external, but about internal states or how one was presenting oneself.
- I started drawing connections to my own recent actions. Had I been too quick to judge? Too stubborn? Not listening enough? Being a bit of a drama queen myself?
- I even thought about people I knew who embodied some of those reversed Queen traits, and what it was like to be around them. Then I asked myself if I was doing that to others. That was a tough pill to swallow.
It was a proper dissection, pulling apart all the threads. I wasn’t just looking for a simple answer; I was trying to feel what the card was trying to tell me, uniquely for my situation.
The ‘Aha!’ Moment and The Shift
The real kicker came a week later, when I was on the phone with a friend. We were talking about a mutual acquaintance, and I found myself saying some pretty harsh stuff, judging her actions and motives without really knowing the full story. As soon as the words left my mouth, that reversed Queen flashed in my mind. Bang.
That was it. That was the warning. It wasn’t about someone else being a reversed Queen to me; it was about me acting like one. Being critical, maybe a bit gossipy, definitely not being nurturing or understanding. Being judgmental. And honestly, probably doing it from a place of my own insecurity, projecting it onto others. That was the core of it.
Once I nailed that down, the interpretation shifted from being a scary, vague threat to a very specific, actionable piece of advice.
I started consciously changing things.
- I made an effort to pause before speaking, especially when I felt the urge to criticize or complain.
- I practiced listening more, really hearing what people were saying, not just waiting for my turn to talk.
- I tried to be more supportive and less quick to jump to conclusions, especially with my loved ones.
- I focused on nurturing my own well-being, getting back to things that made me feel grounded, like long walks and proper meals, instead of just running on fumes.
It wasn’t an overnight fix, not at all. There were definitely days I slipped up. But every time I felt myself veering into those negative Queen traits, that image of the reversed card would pop up, a gentle (or sometimes not-so-gentle) reminder. It became my internal alarm bell.
That single card, pulled by accident, really kickstarted a period of self-reflection and adjustment that I seriously needed. It wasn’t about forecasting doom; it was about shining a light on my own damn behavior and giving me a chance to switch it up. And I did. Slowly but surely, I did.
