Man, sometimes you just gotta look back, right? Like, properly dig through the old brain files and see where you were at. For me, recently, it was all about pulling up February 2018. Don’t ask me why that specific month, just kinda popped into my head while I was sorting some old documents. My career journey then, as a classic Virgo, was… well, let’s just say it was a whole lot of stuff bubbling under the surface.
Starting Point: Feb 2018 – What the Heck Was I Doing?
I remember Feb 2018 pretty vividly now that I really sit down and think about it. I was in a job that felt like it was chewing me up and spitting me out. The pay was okay, I guess, but the work itself? Just soul-crushing. Every morning, I’d drag myself out of bed, already feeling that familiar dread in my gut. My routine was set in stone: wake up, coffee, commute, slog through the day, come home, collapse. Rinse and repeat. I was constantly nitpicking my own output, trying to make things ‘perfect’ because that’s just how my brain works, but it never felt good enough. It was a loop, man, and I was getting really, really tired of it.
I started noticing how much I was zoning out during meetings, my mind just drifting to anything but the current topic. I caught myself scrolling through job sites on my lunch break, not even seriously applying, just… browsing. It was like a little whisper in the back of my head, telling me to get out, but I was too scared to actually listen. Too many responsibilities, too much comfort in the known, even if the known sucked.
- Waking up with dread every day.
- Constant self-doubt about my work.
- Browsing job boards without action.
- Feeling stuck in a repetitive, unfulfilling cycle.
The Spark: From Browsing to Actually Doing Something
Then something clicked. I can’t pinpoint an exact moment, but it was like a slow build-up of frustration. One evening, after a particularly draining day, I just sat there, staring at my laptop screen. Instead of just browsing, I actually opened up my old resume. It was a mess, honestly. Full of old buzzwords and things I didn’t even do anymore. But I just started picking at it, cleaning it up. I didn’t have a plan, just an urge to do something different.
I started by re-writing my job descriptions, focusing on what I actually enjoyed or what felt like real achievements, not just the bullet points HR had given me. It took a few nights, just chipping away at it after everyone else was asleep. Then, I decided to reach out to a couple of old colleagues from a previous role, just for a casual coffee. No agenda, just catching up. I didn’t even mention I was looking for a new gig at first, just testing the waters, feeling out what was happening in other companies.
That coffee meeting ended up being a big deal. One of them actually mentioned a role opening up at their new company, something totally different from what I was doing, but it sounded interesting. I actually felt a little spark of excitement, a feeling I hadn’t had about work in ages.
The Dive: Applying, Interviewing, and Doubting Everything
After that, the ball really started rolling. I polished that resume like crazy, made sure every little detail was squared away (classic Virgo, right?). I spent hours tailoring my cover letter for that specific role, researching the company, understanding their culture. I sent it off, and then the waiting began. And the doubting. Oh man, the doubting.
Every day was a mix of hope and “what the hell am I thinking?” thoughts. What if I was making a mistake? What if the grass wasn’t actually greener? What if I was just trading one kind of misery for another? I even pulled back a little, stopped applying to other places, just focused on this one. It felt like a massive gamble.
Then, the call for an interview came. I prepared like never before, researching every single person I was scheduled to meet, every project the company had published. I went through mock interviews with my partner, rehearsing answers to questions I knew would come up. The interviews themselves were grueling, a full day of back-to-back conversations. I felt drained but also… alive. It was the first time in ages I felt challenged in a good way.
The Leap and Looking Back From Today
Against all odds, they offered me the job. And man, that moment was surreal. I remember holding the phone, my heart absolutely pounding. Giving notice at my old job was tough, not because I’d miss it, but because it felt like burning a bridge, stepping into the unknown. But I pushed through that fear. I packed up my desk, said my goodbyes, and walked out of that place for the last time.
Starting the new job was a whole different kind of challenge. New people, new systems, totally different responsibilities. There were definitely days I thought, “What have I done?” But slowly, surely, I started to find my footing. I was learning new skills, meeting genuinely inspiring people, and, most importantly, I felt like my work actually mattered again.
Looking back from today, years later, that February 2018 was a true turning point. That leap, that uncomfortable push to change things, it was the best decision I ever made for my career. It taught me that sometimes, you just gotta trust that gut feeling, even if it means leaving the comfort of the known behind. It wasn’t about finding the ‘perfect’ job, but about finding a job where I could actually grow and contribute, and not just punch a clock. That whole experience changed how I approach everything now. It really did.
