I gotta tell you, this whole astrology thing isn’t just some theoretical crap you read in a book. It’s watching people screw up their lives in real time and then figuring out the mechanics of the explosion. My practice this time was born out of pure exhaustion, listening to the same fight over and over. It was about a friend and his girl—he’s a Mars in Scorpio, she’s a Mars in Virgo—and man, the energy they threw off was a complete mess.
I started the whole process the way I always do: I wasn’t looking for compatibility; I was just trying to figure out why two people who genuinely liked each other were constantly feeling like they were living on different planets. I didn’t even know their specific Mars placements at first. I just knew the vibe was off. The goal of my little practice session was to nail down the precise friction point.
The Setup: Pulling the Charts and Mapping the Drive
First thing I did, I pulled up their birth data. Took me a week of nagging them for their times and places, but I finally got it. I
ran the charts and literally just scanned for Mars. I didn’t care about their Sun or Moon or anything else. This practice was strictly about action, anger, and sex drive. That’s what Mars dictates.
When I saw it—Mars in Scorpio conjuncting Pluto in the natal chart (for him), and Mars in Virgo trine Saturn (for her)—I immediately slapped my palm to my forehead. This wasn’t just a clash; it was a fundamental difference in how they get things done and why they even bother getting out of bed in the morning.
- I documented his Mars in Scorpio: The drive is deep, hidden, intense. It’s all about control, power dynamics, and emotional fusion. His anger isn’t shouted; it’s a slow, cold brew of resentment and strategic plotting. When he wants something, it’s not just a goal; it’s a total transformation. His passion needs depth and danger.
- I wrote down her Mars in Virgo: The drive is practical, service-oriented, and analytical. She’s driven by the need for perfection, utility, and getting things right. Her anger is sharp, critical, and focused on specific details: “You left the sock on the floor,” or “You missed a step in the process.” Her passion is in helpfulness and competence.
The Practice: Live Observation and Recording the Clashes
The next phase of my practice was literally becoming a fly on the wall. I spent a few weekends hanging out with them (and pretending I wasn’t studying their every move). I watched how these two different engines tried to drive the same car.
The passionate connection? It was a grinding gear shift, not a smooth ride.
I
recorded the common arguments, and they always boiled down to the same dynamic:
The Virgo Mars girl would constantly try to improve his life—tell him the better way to file his taxes, or the healthier thing to eat, or the more efficient route to work. She was trying to serve his life (Virgo action), but he (Scorpio action) interpreted it as control, criticism, and a deep mistrust of his competence. He felt scrutinized and suffocated. Scorpio Mars hates being told what to do or being analyzed; they need to feel they are in charge of their own dark, messy process.
Then, when he’d try to connect, his Scorpio intensity would come out—deep, probing questions about her feelings, a need for a total merging of energy, or an intense, slightly obsessive focus on something abstract. She’d pull back, finding his intensity completely unnecessary and emotionally draining. She just wanted to fix the broken shelf, not explore the existential meaning of the shelf. That was my realization: his drive felt like a tidal wave; her drive felt like a list of chores.
The Realization: Why I Even Bothered with Their Drama
This whole practice, this obsessive need to document and figure out their friction, wasn’t just about them. It kicked me right back to a time in my own life when I was dealing with a massive legal mess after I sold my old house.
The contract had been completely messed up by some low-grade lawyer. My whole life got stalled for eight months—couldn’t buy a new place, couldn’t access the money. My own Mars (which is in Taurus, the opposite of Scorpio’s energy but still fixed and stubborn) got stuck. I remember feeling that intense, quiet, destructive Scorpionic need for control and revenge, mixed with a Virgo-like desire to meticulously clean up every single legal document and procedure.
I realized I was projecting my own frustrated Mars energy onto them. I watched my friend and his girl fighting about who was right, and it was the same energy I had felt when the lawyer was screwing me over. I was trying to fix their relationship (Virgo Mars style) to get a sense of control over the chaotic feelings that old house drama had left me with (Scorpio Mars style).
What I learned about the Scorpio Mars and Virgo Mars match in love is simple: they can make great things happen if they point their energy outwards. Virgo provides the perfect plan; Scorpio provides the necessary intensity and resources. But when that energy turns inward, it’s brutal. Virgo constantly irritates Scorpio with small criticisms. Scorpio constantly overwhelms Virgo with big emotions. The passion is there, but it only flows when they stop trying to control the other person’s process and instead agree on the objective and walk away from each other to achieve it. That’s the only way they don’t end up killing each other.
