Alright, listen up, all you single Virgos out there, especially if you’re trying to figure out this whole love thing in 2024. I’ve been through the wringer, man, seriously. I spent way too many years totally messing it up, and then I finally got my head straight. This isn’t some fancy guide from a guru; this is just me telling you what I actually did to stop being a disaster zone and start seeing some real progress.
My whole life, I’ve been a textbook Virgo. You know the drill: I’d overthink everything, analyze every tiny gesture, and build up these massive, perfect scenarios in my head before even saying “hi.” When it came to dating, I was a wreck. I would scroll through dating apps, meticulously examining every single profile, looking for any imperfection. If their grammar was off, or their photo was a little blurry, or if they had a hobby I deemed “unsuitable,” I’d just swipe left without a second thought. I was a professional at finding flaws, not just in others, but especially in myself.
I remember this one stretch, must’ve been late 2023, where I just kept hitting brick walls. Every date I went on, I’d come home and just tear it apart. “They talked too much,” “They didn’t ask enough questions,” “Their laugh was a bit loud.” It was insane. I was so focused on finding the “perfect” person, I was completely blind to anyone who was genuinely good, just because they weren’t 100% what I’d drawn up in my head. I was exhausting myself, and frankly, I was exhausting anyone who had the misfortune of trying to date me. I tried to be this perfect version of myself, too, planning out conversations, picking the “right” outfits, stressing about every little detail. It never worked.
Hitting Rock Bottom and Realizing the Bullshit
I had this one particularly awful date, and I came home, slammed the door, and just stared at myself in the mirror. I looked miserable. And I realized right then and there: this isn’t working, dude. All the analyzing, all the perfectionism, all the stressing—it was actually pushing people away. It wasn’t about them, it was about me and my damn Virgo brain running rampant. I was so busy looking for reasons to say “no” that I wasn’t giving anyone a chance, including myself.
So, I decided to make a change for 2024. It wasn’t easy, let me tell ya. It went against every fiber of my Virgo being, but I knew I had to switch it up if I wanted any shot at finding someone decent.
My “No Bullshit, Just Try It” Process
Here’s what I started doing, step by step:
- I stopped overthinking the apps. I gave myself a time limit for looking at profiles. If I saw something that mildly intrigued me, I’d just swipe right. No deep dive into their life story. Just a quick “hmm, maybe.”
- I forced myself to be less critical. On dates, if I noticed a small thing that usually would’ve sent me spiraling, I’d consciously tell myself, “Dude, let it go. Focus on the good stuff.” I practiced actually listening instead of formulating my next perfect question or analyzing their body language.
- I learned to shut up and just be present. This was a big one. My brain always wanted to jump ahead, plan the next five dates, figure out where this was going. I started to just enjoy the moment, for what it was. If a date was good, I enjoyed it. If it was bad, I just got through it and moved on, without dwelling.
- I dropped the “perfect self” act. I started showing up as myself, flaws and all. If I was a bit awkward, fine. If I said something silly, whatever. It felt incredibly vulnerable at first, but you know what? It was so much less stressful. And it allowed people to actually see me, not some polished, anxious version of me.
- I began to communicate honestly. If I liked someone, I told them. If I needed space, I said so. None of that mind-reading crap. It felt clunky at first, like I was speaking a foreign language, but man, it cleared up so much misunderstanding.
It wasn’t an overnight fix, trust me. There were still plenty of awkward moments, but something shifted. I started attracting different kinds of people—people who appreciated the real me, not the one I was trying to pretend to be. I started having genuinely enjoyable dates, even if they didn’t lead to anything long-term, because I wasn’t torturing myself over every detail.
So, for 2024, my advice to you single Virgos is this: Let go of the need for perfection. Drop the over-analysis. Stop scrutinizing everyone, including yourself. Just show up, be present, and give people a real chance. It worked for me, and I’m just a regular, messed-up Virgo like the rest of you. You gotta ditch the rulebook and just live a little. You’ll thank me later.
