Man, I was so tired of this one thing: dating guys who were almost, but not quite, ready for the next step. You know the type. They’re great, they treat you right, they talk about the future, but the second you mention moving in, meeting the parents in a serious way, or—God forbid—rings, they just hit this brick wall. Their energy just shifts, and you’re back to square one, asking yourself if you just wasted another six months. I did this cycle with three different dudes back to back, and I was absolutely done with it.
I realized I needed a system. I needed a commitment check that wasn’t emotional, wasn’t wishful thinking, but was a straight-up, cold, hard business assessment of their current life structure. That’s when I thought about the Tarot. Not the mushy, romantic stuff, but the cards that deal with power, control, and establishing order. And that’s how I started focusing purely on The Emperor for these readings.
My Practice: The “Commitment Readiness” Three-Card Check
I designed a simple three-card arrangement. I didn’t want anything complicated. It had to be quick and ruthless. This whole project was about cutting through the crap and finding out if this person was a long-term investment or just a temporary side gig. I called it the “Commitment Readiness Check.”
Here’s exactly how I would set up the reading:
- First, I’d get my hands on the deck. I use this old Rider-Waite, the one with the slightly sticky edges. I like how it feels. It’s practical.
- Then, I’d shuffle. Not gently, either. I’d really crank those cards, thinking the guy’s name and the specific question: “Is [Name] ready to commit to a major life change right now?” I’d shuffle until a card practically jumped out or until my hands just felt like I needed to stop.
- I would lay out three positions, left to right. No fancy circles or crosses. Just a line on the dining table.
The positions were specific:
- Position 1: His Current Castle. This card shows the energy that currently rules his life. What structure has he built for himself?
- Position 2: The Doorway. This card shows what energy needs to be in place for him to let someone else in permanently. What does commitment look like to him?
- Position 3: The Emperor’s Final Word. This is the outcome. Does this man’s established structure (Castle) align with the committed life (Doorway)? If The Emperor shows up here, it means he’s made his final decision, and it’s usually irreversible.
The first time I really put this system to the test was with this guy, Steve. Steve was solid—a good job, his own house, planned future trips. Everything looked good on paper. But something felt off. Every time I brought up us being exclusive, he’d give me this non-answer about “just wanting to enjoy the moment.” I decided to check him.
I laid the cards out. Position 1, the Current Castle: The Four of Pentacles. Oh boy. This card is all about holding onto what you have, being stingy, controlling your resources. His life was his. He was happy controlling his income, his space, his routine. No surprise there.
Position 2, The Doorway: The Six of Cups Reversed. Okay, this was the kicker. Reversed Six of Cups means letting go of the past, but in this position, it meant he wasn’t ready to let go of his past way of doing things. He wanted that comfortable, solitary past to continue into the future.
Then came Position 3. The Emperor’s Final Word. I flipped it over, and there he was: The Emperor. Standing tall, looking bossy, with his structure all around him. My initial thought was, “Great! The Emperor means commitment and stability!” But I looked at the first two cards and I had to rethink the whole damn thing.
I realized I was reading him wrong. I didn’t just pull The Emperor—I pulled him next to the Four of Pentacles and the reversed Six of Cups. The Emperor isn’t just commitment; he’s autocratic control and unchangeable structure. The message hit me like a truck: He is committed, all right. He is rock solid in his commitment… to his single, controlled life that he already built. He’s the ruler of his own domain, and there is no room for a co-ruler. The commitment is to the status quo, not to me.
A week later, I calmly brought up the exclusivity topic again, and what did he do? He didn’t yell, he didn’t freak out. He just shut it down, totally logically, exactly like an Emperor would rule a meeting. He said, “I like the structure of my life right now, and I’m not willing to risk that stability to integrate someone else permanently.” No drama, just a flat, definitive ruling. My system had worked perfectly. I didn’t waste another single day trying to change his mind.
This process taught me not to look for the “good” cards, but to look at the function of the card. The Emperor is a wonderful card, but in a relationship check, he might just be telling you that the man is perfectly happy being committed to his own routine, his own rules, and his own castle. If you’re not part of the building plans, he’s not going to approve the zoning change. I now use this check immediately, and it has saved me so much pointless heartbreak and wasted time. Trust The Emperor to be completely honest, even if the truth sucks. It’s a game-changer.
