So, listen up. I see everyone freaking out whenever The Chariot pops up in a love life spread. Folks see the armor and the forward motion, and they immediately go, “Yes! Victory! My future partner is coming to sweep me off my feet!”
Straight up, you’re missing the point. That’s what I learned the hard way. The Chariot ain’t just about winning, it’s about how you drive, and trust me, most of the time you’re driving too fast and too focused on the finish line to even check if the passenger is still breathing back there. I messed up so many readings, and worse, I messed up my own life thinking this card was my green light to just barrel ahead.
After pulling this sucker out about a hundred times—mostly when asking, “What did I do wrong in that last thing?”—I finally broke down what you actually need to look at. Forget the books for a minute. This is how you read The Chariot for a future relationship, like someone who’s actually lived through it.
The Three Simple Steps I Now Follow
This is the framework I developed and now use every single time. It strips away the mystical garbage and gets right to the common sense of your current situation.
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Step 1: Verbally Define the Direction, Don’t Assume the Victory.
I stopped whispering “victory” and started screaming “WHERE ARE YOU GOING?” See the card. The person is driving. I force myself to ask a specific, action-oriented question: Is this energy moving toward commitment, or is it just moving away from fear? I write down the specific action the card suggests: establishing boundaries, pursuing a career goal, or running a mile from emotional intimacy. If you pin down the direction, the rest falls into place. The first time I tried this, I realized I was driving hard toward a specific look in a partner, not an actual connection.
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Step 2: Identify the Reins: Is it Control or Commitment?
This is the big difference between someone showing up as a strong partner and someone who will try to micromanage your socks. I look close at the driver’s posture. Is it a relaxed strength, or are they white-knuckling the reins? The Chariot is often about internal control projected outward. I ask myself: Am I the driver, or am I attracting the driver? And in either case, is this control focused on the goal (a steady relationship) or focused on me (my ego)? I practice seeing the difference between ambition (good) and ruthlessness (bad). If there is too much armor, the only thing they’re protecting is their own vulnerability.
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Step 3: Immediately Check the Cards Right Next to It.
You can’t read The Chariot alone. Never. I developed the habit of always pulling two extra cards, one on either side of The Chariot, to tell me the cost and the consequence. The Chariot is speed. The surrounding cards are the scenery you’re missing. If the cards next to it are, say, the 9 of Swords and the 5 of Cups, that “victory” is paved with anxiety and regret. I started realizing that a clear path forward (Chariot) with a sad or worried neighbor card means you’ll get what you want, but you’ll hate what you sacrificed to get there. It gives the whole reading the necessary context.
How I Messed Up and Had to Learn This Process
I know this process works because I had to invent it after a relationship I thought was my “Chariot Moment” went sideways. This was a few years back, maybe ’19. I met this woman, and everything was go. She was exactly what everyone told me I needed: focused, driven, had her own business, knew what she wanted. I convinced myself she was the prize, the end of the quest I’d been on.
We started dating, and it was a whirlwind. We were checking off all the boxes: meeting friends, planning trips, talking future goals. I was so proud; I felt like I had secured this amazing life partner. I kept pulling the Chariot in my spreads for us. I was like, “See? We are moving forward! We are building!”
But the thing is, I only saw the victory banner. I ignored the tiny little protests. I forgot to check what she actually wanted. I was driving the whole thing, convinced my path was the only path to success for us. I pushed for moving in together after three months. I pushed for us to invest in a specific market. Every single decision was my forward momentum. I mistook aggressive planning for genuine commitment.
When she finally sat me down and said, “I feel like I’m just watching your life happen,” I was completely blindsided. The breakup was messy. When I pulled the cards later to figure out where I’d missed the signs, there was The Chariot again, clear as day, right in the center of the spread, but this time, surrounded by the Hierophant reversed and the 4 of Swords.
That forced me to rethink everything. That’s why I developed Step 1 (Direction). My direction was self-aggrandizement, not partnership. That’s why I implemented Step 2 (Reins). My control was crippling. And that’s why I insisted on Step 3 (Neighbors). The neighbor cards had been screaming “stagnation and rigid rules” while I was high-fiving myself over being a “winner.”
Now, when I look at that card, I don’t see a champion. I see a reminder to slow the heck down, check the map, and make sure I’m not just driving a relationship off a cliff because I was too stubborn to ask for directions.
Give these three steps a shot. It changed how I read my own future, and frankly, my dating life got a whole lot slower, but a hell of a lot better.
