Okay so I got real fed up last month with my Virgo bestie. We’ve been tight for years, but man, certain things were starting to push my buttons. They were being extra… Virgo. The constant nitpicking about tiny details in my apartment, that “helpful” unsolicited advice delivered like they were reading a rulebook, and acting totally flustered if anything veered off their perfect little schedule? It was wearing thin. I almost snapped.
Instead of blowing up, I decided to actually try and deal with it head-on. I mean, I value the friendship, right? Needed a plan. Went online searching “how to deal with annoying Virgo traits,” found the usual generic crap, but it got me thinking. Time to experiment.
The Stuff That Made Me Want To Scream
- Pointing out every flaw: Like literally pointing out a single crumb on the counter I hadn’t swept up yet two minutes before they arrived. “Ugh, you missed a spot there.” Felt like an inspection.
- The Unsolicited Efficiency Report: I’d be cooking dinner my way, feeling fine, and bam. “You know, if you chop the onions before heating the oil, it saves approximately 1.5 minutes…” Like dude, I just wanna cook!
- Panic Over Tiny Changes: Mentioned grabbing takeout instead of cooking the planned meal? You’d think I cancelled Christmas. Cue this stressed-out scramble: “But… but we planned the groceries… the timing… the calories…!” Pure chaos mode triggered by a pizza suggestion.
- Over-Explaining Simple Stuff: Asking a quick question often got me a lecture. Needed the Wi-Fi password? Got a five-minute explanation on encryption standards and router placement optimization. Bro, just gimme the code!
My Experiments: What Failed Miserably First
First attempt? Play it cool. Ignore the nitpicks, nod politely at the “advice,” just let it slide. Nope. That sucked. Bottling it up just made me more irritable. My fake smiles got pretty obviously strained.
Next, I tried fighting fire with fire. Started pointing out their tiny quirks back at them. Big mistake. Things got awkward real fast. Like, super tense and silent. Definitely not helping.
What Actually Started Working
Okay, time for Plan C. Honestly, I felt kinda dumb for not thinking of this first, but sometimes the simplest thing works. I just started talking to them. Like, properly.
Sat them down. Didn’t accuse, just laid it out: “Hey, I love ya, you know I do. But sometimes the constant little corrections about stuff like crumbs or how I cook? It kinda drives me nuts. Makes me feel like you’re judging my whole life.”
The key? I owned my feelings. Said “It pisses me off when you correct small stuff that really doesn’t matter to me.” Focused on how their actions made me feel, not just attacking them as annoying.
Then, I actually listened to their side. Turns out, for them, pointing out the crumb wasn’t about criticizing me, it was genuinely about helping, about things being “correct.” The advice? Their weird way of trying to make my life “better” (their version, anyway). The schedule freak-out? They feel legit anxious if things feel out of control, it wasn’t about ruining my plan.
Finally, we talked compromise. I asked: “Okay, if you see a crumb army forming in my kitchen, can you maybe just… not comment? Unless a rat actually starts building a fort?” We found a middle ground. I try to chill more about their need for some order (like giving a heads-up about takeout plans earlier), and they try really hard to bite their tongue about insignificant things. We have a phrase now: “Is this worth saying?” We agreed if it’s not actually important, skip it.
It’s not perfect. Old habits die hard for both of us. Sometimes I still see them twitching when they spot a minor mess. Sometimes I still get the advice-parade. But now? Now I can look at them and just say, “Hey. Is it worth saying?” And usually, they kinda laugh or sigh and let it go. Knowing why they do that stuff – that it comes from a place of caring (however misguided it feels to me!) and anxiety, not malice – makes it way less infuriating. You gotta communicate, even if it feels weird talking about feelings about crumbs. Seriously. Saved my sanity.
