So last week I was digging through my old journal entries, right? Found this Virgo horoscope thing for August 2020 that promised “life-changing money advice” and “relationship clarity.” Figured hey, why not test it – worst case I waste a month.
Getting Started With The Money Stuff
First thing Monday morning I grabbed my coffee and reread the money section. It kept hammering “organize your cash flow like a drill sergeant.” Okay, I pulled out all my bank apps and spreadsheets. Took me three hours just to untangle my subscription mess – turns out I was paying for two Spotify family plans? How’d that happen?
- Called the bank to dispute duplicate charges
- Made a “no online shopping after 9pm” rule (my weakness)
- Stuck cash in labeled envelopes for groceries/gas/fun money
By week two I caught my coworker trying to short me $50 on concert tickets. Normally I’d eat the cost to avoid drama, but the horoscope said “defend your resources fiercely.” So I texted her screenshots of the receipts – awkward but she Venmoed me immediately.
Relationship Stuff Was Messier
The horoscope claimed August would “expose toxic patterns.” Thought it was mumbo-jumbo until Wednesday night at dinner when my boyfriend started complaining about my “overplanned” vacation itinerary. Normally I’d apologize – instead I asked why he waited till reservations were locked to complain.
That blew up into this whole fight about communication. We were both yelling over cold pasta until I remembered the horoscope’s advice: “Don’t swallow valid frustrations.” Swallowed my pride instead and said “Okay, what compromise actually looks like to you?”
Took another week of these stupid uncomfortable conversations, but we finally set a new rule: travel plans get discussed before I spend hours booking everything.
The Weirdest Part
You know how horoscopes always say vague crap like “financial opportunities arise”? Well mid-month my oven died. Repair guy quoted $600 minimum. I almost paid it until I remembered the cash envelopes. Dug out my “house emergency” cash and offered the guy $400 flat if he could do it immediately. He agreed! Never would’ve tried bargaining before this experiment.
By August 31st I’d saved $85 from budget tweaks, got my $50 back from that ticket fiasco, and saved $200 on the oven. Still think horoscopes are mostly baloney… but now I triple-check duplicate subscriptions.
