So last Monday I’m scrolling through emails when this astrology newsletter pops up screaming “YOUR 2022 VIRGO CAREER FORECAST!” Total clickbait garbage, right? But since my job’s been dragging like hell lately, I figured eh why not. Printed the thing out at work – company paper, don’t tell anyone – and highlighted two predictions in bright yellow marker.
The Experiment Setup
First tip said “Q1 is your networking golden window – reconnect THREE old contacts monthly”. Made zero sense ’cause I avoid small talk like expired milk. Second prediction claimed “August 18 Mercury retrograde will nuke your current projects – backup everything starting July”. Sounded paranoid but IT did crash twice last winter.
Grabbed my dusty journal and taped the printout on page one. My rules:
- Force myself to actually hit that stupid “three contacts” goal every month
- Set phone alerts for weekly backups starting July 1st
- Track any career wins (promotions, projects, raises) vs dumpster fires
What Actually Went Down
January sucked hard. Messaged my college roommate (still owe him $20), an ex-coworker who blocked me on LinkedIn, and some lady from yoga class. Ghosted twice. Felt like an idiot BUT the yoga lady actually replied… and got me an interview at her company in March. Still turned it down though – commute was brutal.
Come August? Boom. Mercury retrograde hit while I was on vacation. Whole department’s server died. Boss freaked out demanding files… until I pulled up the July 25th backup drive. Saved the damn project AND got called into HR Friday for “showing initiative”. Actual words from my review: “Your preparedness during the Q3 infrastructure crisis aligns with leadership benchmarks.” Whatever that means. Give me the 4% raise instead.
End of Year Verdict
Prediction Scorecard:
- The networking crap? Still hate it but landed two freelance gigs through contacts
- The backup voodoo? 100% saved my ass. Still doing it religiously
- Promotion came in November. Not cause the stars said so – cause the backups made me look like a wizard
Final takeaway? Horoscopes are like your drunk uncle’s advice – mostly noise but sometimes you get a solid nugget. That backup tip? Worth printing on stolen office paper.
