So, Virgo Dad giving money to kids, huh? Yeah, that’s a whole thing, believe me. I’ve been through the wringer on this one, figured out a few things along the way, mostly the hard way. It ain’t just about handing over some cash; it’s about a whole lot more, and if you’re anything like me, you want it done right, with some actual purpose behind it.
When my kids were little, man, I just used to slip ’em a few bucks whenever they asked, or when we were out and about. Thought I was being cool, generous, you know? Just wanted to make ’em happy, buy that little toy or a bag of candy without a fuss. It seemed simple enough. They’d smile, I’d feel like a good dad, and everyone was happy. We’d go to the store, they’d point, I’d usually just fork it over. No big questions asked, no real strings attached. It felt like the easy road, the path of least resistance at the time, especially when they were giving me those puppy dog eyes.
But then I started noticing things, little cracks in the system, or rather, the lack of a system. The money just vanished, poof, like smoke. They’d want something one minute, then totally forget about it the next, without a second thought for where that money came from or what it represented. There was no real appreciation, no understanding of value. It was just an endless supply, or so it seemed to them. If I said no, it was a meltdown. If I said yes, it was instant gratification, then quickly forgotten. This “gimme, gimme” attitude really started to grate on me. My Virgo brain, always wanting order and purpose, just couldn’t handle the chaos of it all. I saw a problem brewing, a big one, that I was actually fueling myself.
I remember one time, it hit me hard. My eldest, bless her heart, she had this big goal. She wanted a fancy art kit, the kind with all the paints and brushes, that cost a pretty penny. We talked about it for weeks, she even helped around the house a bit extra to ‘earn’ some of it. She actually managed to save up a decent chunk of money, a significant amount for a kid her age, tucked away in an envelope. I was so proud of her focus and determination. Then, one Saturday, she went to the mall with some friends. We’d talked about the art kit, how she was so close. But when she came home, a few hours later, the envelope was empty. All of it. Gone. Spent on a bunch of cheap, flimsy bracelets, some sugary drinks, and a load of novelty items that she barely even looked at the next day. She was upset when she realized what she’d done, sitting there with a pile of junk, while her art kit dream was suddenly miles away. I was frustrated, not so much about the money itself, but about the big lesson that completely vanished. It was like watching her throw away effort and future dreams on fleeting impulses. It really stung. That moment solidified it for me: just giving them money wasn’t working. It was doing more harm than good.
That’s when I really buckled down. I knew I had to pivot, had to introduce some structure, some real-world understanding. My Virgo nature kicked in big time. I sat ’em down, both of them, and we had a serious talk. This wasn’t just about my money anymore; it was about their money, and how they learned to handle it. I laid out a whole new plan. This wasn’t just giving money; this was about earning it, managing it, respecting it, and understanding where it went. And it took a lot of patience, and a lot of sticking to my guns, but it started to work.
The New Game Plan
- Chores and Allowance: I tied their weekly allowance directly to specific, agreed-upon chores. We made a list. Loading the dishwasher, tidying their rooms, helping with yard work. Each chore had a little value attached. No chores, no allowance. Simple. It made them understand that money isn’t just magic; it comes from effort. They had to earn it.
- Budgeting Jars/Accounts: For the younger one, we got actual little physical piggy banks with three separate slots: ‘Spend,’ ‘Save,’ ‘Give.’ For the older one, we used a simple spreadsheet I set up, mirroring those categories. Every dollar they earned went into these buckets. The ‘Spend’ money was for their immediate wants. ‘Save’ was for bigger, longer-term goals. ‘Give’ was for charity or helping others, teaching them generosity.
- Matching Savings: This was a big motivator. For every dollar they put into their ‘Save’ bucket for a long-term goal, I’d match a portion of it. Sometimes a quarter, sometimes half, depending on the goal. This got ’em really excited about seeing that money grow, understanding compound effort, even if it was just me matching it. It made saving tangible and rewarding.
- Decision Time: Before any major purchase, we’d sit down and have a chat. Not a lecture, but a discussion. I’d ask: “Is this a ‘want’ or a ‘need’?” “How long have you really wanted this?” “Have you looked at alternatives?” “Is this the best use of your money?” It forced them to think, to really consider their choices instead of just grabbing. They had to justify it to themselves, and to me, briefly.
- Learning from Mistakes (The Hard Way): This was the tough part for me. I had to let ’em buy that silly toy or that cheap game they’d regret in a week. And when they did, when the shine wore off in a day, we’d talk about it. No “I told you so,” just “What did we learn from this purchase?” “Was it worth the money you spent?” It was painful sometimes to watch, but those were the lessons that really stuck.
Was it easy? Heck no. There were plenty of tantrums, a lot of “it’s not fair!” moments, especially at the start. But I stuck to my guns. A Virgo needs his system, and this system was about teaching real-world finance, not just handing over cash. I knew this was crucial for their future. Over time, I saw a genuine shift. They started planning. They’d actually think before asking for something or making a spontaneous purchase. They’d look at price tags, compare things, wait for sales. It was slow, sure, but it was happening. Now, seeing them actually manage their own money, make smart, considered choices, even save up for something big without me even prompting them? That’s the real win. It’s not about the money I give them; it’s about the financial sense and responsibility they’re building. And that, for this old Virgo Dad, is priceless.
