My Experience Trying Elle’s Virgo Love Predictions
Alright so I woke up today and saw that Elle horoscope thing for Virgos floating around. Said something like “Romantic Success Now!” with easy steps. Figured, what the heck, I’m single and it’s Saturday – why not test-drive it? Here’s exactly how I followed their advice step-by-step.
First, it claimed Virgos should “initiate conversations with open body language” before noon. I grabbed coffee at my usual spot and purposely sat near someone reading a poetry book. Leaned back, uncrossed my arms like the guide said, and blurted out: “Poetry’s pretty deep huh?” Dude looked startled but actually chatted about Bukowski for 10 minutes. Didn’t get his number though.
The “Unexpected Gift” Fail:
- Step 2 insisted: “Surprise a potential interest with symbolic small gifts”
- Bought this cheap succulent claiming “it represents nurturing relationships”
- Tried handing it to my yoga instructor after class saying “For positive energies!”
- She just blinked and said “…thanks?” then bolted to her car
Around 3pm came the “reconnect phase” advice. Texted my ex-fling Josh “Thought about our hike last fall” like the horoscope suggested. He replied: “Who’s this? New phone.” Brutal. Crossed that off immediately.
Here’s where it got wild though – Step 4 swore “romantic opportunities hide in routines.” So while grocery shopping, I lingered by the oranges like an absolute creep making awkward eye contact. Older lady asked if I needed help finding anything. Ended up explaining the horoscope thing while she slowly backed away with her cart.
Final result? Zero dates. But funny enough, got a text from coffee-shop poetry guy tonight asking about bookstore events. Maybe not romantic yet, but hey – the forced socializing actually worked? Would I trust horoscopes again? Probably not, but the universe gets points for trying.
