Alright folks, buckle up. Wanna tell ya about the Virgo weekly horoscope thing I threw together last night. Just felt like I needed to peek into July a bit, see where the wind was blowin’, you know? Mostly curious about work luck and if my back was gonna quit on me next week hauling groceries.
Gotta Gather the Garbage First
Started off like always. Fire up the laptop around 10 PM after my tea. First thing? Hit up like fifteen different astrology sites. Seriously, it’s a jungle out there. One says Mars is doing a thing, another blames Mercury retrograde that ain’t even happening yet. Found this one super old forum post full of typos predicting “big fortune” – sounded promising, maybe? Copied chunks from everywhere into a big, ugly text document. Total mess.
Trying to Make Sense of the Soup
Sat there scrolling through this word soup for damn near an hour. Highlights (or lowlights?):
- A bunch said Virgos should watch out for coworkers – real specific, right?
- Another site claimed July week two is prime time for asking for a raise because Jupiter winked or something.
- Health bit was mostly “drink water” and “get sleep.” Groundbreaking. Though one guy kept harping on digestive issues. Great.
Tried picking out stuff that kinda repeated. Ended up scribbling on a notepad: “Career: Maybe opportunity? Communication key. Health: Stop eating chips late. Seriously.” Felt totally arbitrary.
The “Final” Cut… More Like Hack Job
Time to slam it together. Opened my blog draft. Didn’t wanna just list sites, nobody reads that. Tried phrasing it like real talk. Like the career part:
“Okay Virgos, looks like next week the stars are nudge-nudging you about work chats. Maybe shut up and listen for once, or maybe pipe up if you got a golden idea hiding? Honestly, the vibes are mixed. Could be your chance to shine, could just be another Tuesday meeting. Keep your ears open.”
Health part was basically: “Planets are yelling about your gut again. Maybe lay off the spicy ramen at midnight? Or just accept the fate. Hydrate. Walk somewhere. Doesn’t have to be far.”
Why Do I Bother?
Posted it this morning. Already doubting it. It’s fun pulling all the threads together, sure, makes me feel like I’m decoding something. But honestly? It’s mostly guesswork wrapped in vague language. Tells you more about wishful thinking than actual stars. Kinda feel like a fraud every time. Like, who am I to predict some Virgo in Iowa’s bad Tuesday? Probably just gonna be useful if someone has a good week and thinks “Oh hey, that random blog was right!” Or they get heartburn and blame the chips… and the stars.
Still. Gonna keep doing it next week. Maybe just shorter next time. Or funnier. Or just give up and tell everyone to flip a coin. Heads for career wins, tails for dodgy tummies. Simpler.
