How I Started This Experiment
So last Sunday, I saw this Virgo money horoscope for May floating around. Normally I’m skeptical about this stuff, but hey – rent’s due and my savings look sad. Figured why not test these 5 wealth tips they promised? Grabbed my notebook and made a checklist.
Tip 1: Track Every Penny
First thing Monday morning, I downloaded that budget app everyone talks about. Spent three hours typing in coffee runs and bus fares from old receipts. By Wednesday? Already hated it. Forgot to log my lunch twice. Ended up scribbling expenses on napkins like a weirdo. Surprise though – found out I blew $78 last month on bubble tea. Ouch.
Tip 2: Negotiate Something
Decided to haggle with my internet provider. Practiced my “tough customer” voice in the shower. Called them Thursday… and got transferred four times. Finally talked to Brenda who sounded exhausted. Blurted out “Any discounts?” like an idiot. She gave me $5 off for three months. Better than nothing!
Mid-Month Reality Check:
- My spreadsheet has more blank cells than data
- Still cringing about Brenda’s pity discount
- Saw a “limited edition” plant and almost broke Tip 3 (no impulse buys!)
Tip 4: Declutter for Cash
Weekend garage sale disaster! Dug out dusty DVDs and that juicer I used twice. Sat outside for six hours. Made $17.50 and got sunburned. Guy paid 50 cents for my college textbooks. At least the trunk’s emptier now.
Tip 5: Moon Phase Investing??
The horoscope said “Venus aligns with Jupiter” on May 23rd for big moves. Put $20 in crypto that morning. Checked next day – down to $18.36. Checked today? $17.91. Should’ve bought more bubble tea instead.
What Actually Happened
End of May results? Saved $92 mainly from cutting bubble tea. Side hustle attempts failed spectacularly – nobody wants my embroidery skills. Feels like the universe gave me pocket lint instead of wealth. But weirdly? Tracking spending made me cancel two subscriptions. Maybe July’s horoscope will suggest robbing banks.
