Man, having kids is a wild ride, isn’t it? Every single one of them comes with their own instruction manual, usually written in invisible ink and constantly re-writing itself. For years, I just kind of stumbled through it, trying to figure out what made my little ones tick. And then, Little J came along, my second one, born in late August. And let me tell you, that kid was a puzzle right from the get-go. I mean, all kids are, but J… he had a certain flavor to his quirks.
When he was tiny, like two or three, I started noticing things. Other kids would throw their toys everywhere, right? Just a tornado of plastic and fabric. Not Little J. He’d play with his train set, and then, without me even saying anything, he’d start lining up the trains, putting the carriages back in the box, even trying to stack the little wooden blocks neatly. I’d watch him, scratching my head, thinking, “Who taught him this?” Nobody did. He just… did it.
Then there was the food. Oh Lord, the food. His plate had to be just so. If the peas touched the mashed potatoes, it was like the end of the world. A tiny crumb on the table after a meal would bother him more than it bothered me! I thought maybe he just had an aversion to certain textures, but it was more than that. It was an aversion to disorder. He’d meticulously pick off a tiny bit of skin from an apple and be so focused on it. I just figured he was particular. Bless his heart, I thought he was just a finicky eater and a neat freak in the making.
Fast forward a few years, he’s in grade school, and I’m still trying to navigate his perfectionist tendencies. He’d spend ages on a drawing, crumple it up if a line wasn’t exactly straight, even if it looked totally fine to me. And if he was helping me with something, say, organizing the pantry, he wouldn’t just put things back. He’d turn all the labels forward, arrange cans by size, and then stand back, scrutinizing his work. If something was off, he’d go back and fix it. It was both incredibly helpful and incredibly exhausting.
One evening, I was chatting with my sister – she’s big into astrology, always reading up on signs and whatnot. I was complaining about J’s latest ‘project’ – he’d decided to reorganize all the socks by color and type, and then got upset because some didn’t have a matching pair. “He’s such a worrier,” I told her, “and everything has to be just so.”
She just looked at me and grinned. “Well, what do you expect? He’s a Virgo, remember?”
And that was it. The lightbulb moment. I mean, I knew his birthdate, but I never really thought about what that meant beyond candles and cake. I started looking into “Virgo kids” – just casual internet browsing, you know, while I was waiting for dinner to cook. And suddenly, it all clicked. It wasn’t just my kid being weird; it was Little J being a Virgo kid.
Understanding Little J, the Virgo Kid
- The Order and Cleanliness: It wasn’t just a random preference; it was a deep-seated need for things to be organized, for systems to be in place. His little mind thrived on structure. Once I saw that, instead of battling him over a messy room, I started giving him tasks, like “Can you make sure all your blocks are in the green bin?” And he’d do it with such focus, like it was the most important job in the world.
- The Attention to Detail: That crumpled drawing, the perfectly arranged cans. He wasn’t being difficult; he was genuinely seeing tiny imperfections that I just glazed over. I learned to appreciate his eye for detail, even if it sometimes meant things took longer. I’d praise him for noticing things, for taking his time.
- The Drive to Help and Serve: Virgo kids, apparently, really like to feel useful. All those times he’d insist on helping me load the dishwasher, or carry the groceries – it wasn’t just wanting to be big, it was a genuine desire to assist, to be of service. So, I started giving him real, age-appropriate chores, and he’d tackle them with such seriousness. Made him feel valued.
- The Worry-Wart Tendencies: This was a big one. He’d fret over tests, over school projects, over if he forgot something. It was his way of trying to control things, to ensure everything was perfect. I stopped dismissing his worries and started acknowledging them, talking through them, and assuring him it was okay to make mistakes.
- The Practicality: He wasn’t much for grand, imaginary adventures like some of his friends. He was more grounded. If we played make-believe, it usually involved fixing something or building something practical. He liked tangible results.
Once I wrapped my head around these traits, parenting him got a whole lot smoother. It wasn’t about changing him; it was about understanding the wiring. I started leaning into his natural inclinations instead of trying to fight them. I gave him responsibility, encouraged his meticulousness in ways that were constructive, and just generally tried to create an environment where his Virgo traits could shine without becoming overwhelming for anyone. It totally changed my perspective, and honestly, made me appreciate the unique little person he is even more.
