Okay so me and my Virgo hub actually tried this compatibility stuff last night after reading some astrology forums. Got curious ’cause he’s neat-freak Virgo and I’m floaty Pisces – total opposites right? Wanted to see if those “boost your sex life” tips really worked.
Our Starting Point:
Usually goes like this: He wants everything perfect – clean sheets, exactly 10 pm, lights dimmed just right. Me? I’m all over the place. Last week I tried lighting lavender candles during foreplay but forgot and singed the curtain. Yeah… not smooth.
What We Actually Did Step-by-Step:
- Tip 1: Earth meets Water nonsense: Articles said “ground each other” or whatever. So we sat cross-legged naked on the bedroom floor holding hands. Felt weird. Lasted 45 seconds before he said “carpet needs vacuuming” and I started giggling.
- Tip 2: Sensory overload thing: Supposed to “awaken senses”. Blindfolded him with my scarf (note: silk stains easy). Fed him grapes while playing whale sounds. He spat seeds onto my pillow complaining about stickiness. I got distracted imagining mermaids.
- Tip 3: The big “emotional connection” play: Virgos supposedly need deep talks first. Tried whispering childhood memories. He was all like “Babe can we focus? My left foot’s asleep.” Total mood killer.
Results? Not Magical.
Ended up laughing till tears came out when the whale sounds suddenly switched to dolphin clicks. Did we bond? Kinda. Sex after? Well… lasted 7 minutes before he jumped up shouting “The grape juice will set into the sheets!” Spent 20 minutes scrubbing. I hid the candles after seeing his panic face.
Honestly? Astrology’s fun but real life’s messy. Virgos will freak over stains. Pisces will daydream mid-kiss. Better tip: hide the silk sheets first. Still love my fussy Virgo though – even if our “compatibility” looks like a sitcom gag reel.
