So yesterday I was scrolling through my phone feeling kinda bleh about my love life, you know? Then I remembered seeing this thing about Virgo weekly love signs. Since I’m a Virgo myself (and currently very single), I figured why not give their romantic tips a shot this week. Worst case scenario – I’d have something funny to write about.
Step 1: Tracking Down Actual Advice
First I had to actually find what the tips were. Not gonna lie, this took way longer than expected. Most sites just gave vague horoscope fluff like “open your heart to possibilities”. Like, how do I even DO that? Finally found something concrete: 1) Start spontaneous conversations with strangers 2) Wear yellow for confidence 3) Write down what you actually want in a partner.
Step 2: Operation Yellow & Notebook
Grabbed my ugliest mustard sweater and a cheap notebook from my junk drawer. Sat in a coffee shop wearing this loud color while scribbling: “must love dogs” and “cannot chew with mouth open”. Got weird looks when I laughed at my own “no man buns” entry. The barista asked if I was writing a screenplay.
Step 3: Forced Spontaneity
Here’s where things got awkward. While walking my dog, I saw this cute neighbor washing his car. Took a deep breath and blurted out: “Hey, how often do you rotate tires?” He stared at me like I grew horns. Then our actual conversation went:
- Him: “Uh… seasonally?”
- Me: “Cool cool. So… climate change huh?”
- Him: slowly backing away “Yeah… wild weather.”
My dog chose that moment to pee on his tire. We made frantic eye contact before I basically ran away. Big romantic energy there.
What Actually Happened
Surprisingly, the yellow sweater DID make two different people compliment me (old lady at bus stop, cashier at grocery store). Also found my notebook later covered in coffee rings with additions like “must survive zombie apocalypse” – apparently future me has priorities.
Would I do it again? Meh. Horoscopes give you that hopeful sparkly feeling for like… three hours. But forcing awkward convos just reminded me I hate small talk. Real lesson learned? Virgo me prefers romance that starts with comfortable silence and good coffee. At least the yellow sweater’s going to Goodwill.
