This happened last Thursday night, honestly still feeling the aftershocks. Ran into Sarah – sharp Virgo coworker I’ve been circling for months. Thought we finally clicked after that wine bar convo.
Phase One: The Setup
Started noticing little things. She’d always fix her coffee mug alignment after meetings. Organized the shared drive tabs during my budget presentation. Classic Virgo tells. Decided to test the waters. Asked her to grab lunch together, framed it as “reviewing the Q3 report.” Smooth, right?
She paused. Actually counted three seconds on her fingers under the table. “Yeah,” she said finally. “Tuesday 12:15. I’ll schedule it.” Boom. Calendar invite hit my inbox in under two minutes. Date set.
Phase Two: The Unraveling
Tuesday rolls around. Casually walked to her desk at 12:10. Found her re-sorting paperclips by size. “Sarah? Lunch?” Her head snapped up like I’d caught her stealing. “Oh! Right! Give me… eighty seconds.” She proceeded to rapidly type, mouse-click, then wipe her keyboard with an alcohol wipe from her purse. Exactly eighty seconds later, she stood. “Okay. Ready.”
Over salads, it got weird. She critiqued the restaurant’s inefficient table layout. Explained the ideal spoon-polishing technique when I mentioned my flatware had water spots. Laughed nervously when I suggested getting tacos next time – “Cross-contamination risks scare me.”
Phase Three: The Ghosting
Sent a light follow-up text Wednesday: “Survived the report. Taco Tuesdays still on?” Nothing. Thursday morning, spotted her speed-walking the other way when I entered the break room. Checked Slack – last active 2 hours ago. Emailed about a project file – auto-reply setup notification within five minutes.
No big confrontation, no messy tears. Just… silence. Total Virgo vanish. They won’t tell you these things straight up, but here’s what I decoded:
- The “Overthink Tap Dance”: Saw it live. That lunch invite processing delay? Her brain ran through 47 scenarios involving food allergies, conversational pitfalls, and potential schedule conflicts.
- Control Freak Camo: Suggesting tacos was my doom. Spontaneous messy food = nightmare fuel. They crave predictability like oxygen.
- Silent Exit Strategy: They avoid awkward goodbyes. If the vibe feels “off” or “unorganized,” they ghost. Clean, efficient disengagement.
End result? I’m eating alone reviewing project notes like it never happened. Saw her re-arranging the breakroom mugs this morning. Didn’t make eye contact. Done trying to crack that code. Let some other poor soul try aligning spoons perfectly with the napkins.
