Alright so I was going through my notes today about Virgo women and crushes because, well, I have this friend who swears she ain’t into this guy, but man, I’ve seen the looks she gives him when he ain’t paying attention. Total “Virgo secretly in love” vibes. So I decided to put the whole internet’s wisdom to the test myself. Let me walk you through exactly what I did and what kinda went sideways.
The Setup Phase
First, I made a list of all the classic signs people say a Virgo woman shows when she’s secretly crushing but tryna hide it:
- Obsessively helping or fixing things for you
- Overanalyzing conversations & remembering tiny details
- Suddenly being super critical or nitpicky about unrelated stuff
- Acting colder/distant when others are around
- Finding logical excuses to be near you
Seemed legit enough. My target? Sarah, this Virgo friend of mine who works down the hall. Sweet, crazy-smart, organized to the point of terrifying. And definitely crushing on Mike from HR. Denied it three times when I teased her.
Putting Theory to Work
So phase one was observation. I parked myself nearby whenever Mike rolled by her desk. Monday morning, dude asked for a stapler. Boom. Sarah didn’t just hand him a stapler. She practically sprinted, dug out this like, industrial-sized beast from her bottom drawer and mentioned his report had loose pages yesterday. Who notices loose pages on someone else’s report? Virgo crush mode, sign one. Check.
Then phase two: casual testing. Wednesday lunch, I sat with her. Mike walked past, waved. Sarah stopped mid-bite. Started intensely rearranging the salt & pepper shakers like they personally offended her logic. Asked if the pepper shaker felt gritty. Totally ignored Mike’s wave. Sign two – critique deflection. Interesting.
Friday came the big one. I saw Mike leaving early with coffee. Ran to Sarah’s desk “forgot my keys.” Saw her staring at her screen super serious. Peeked. Her inbox was open. She’d typed “email draft: quarterly budget” – but guess what her last email sent was? To Mike. Subject: “Re: Your misplaced water bottle – I saw it in the break room sink cabinet.” Like… why send that? Why not just text? And why hide she did it? Classic Virgo “logical excuse” to interact. Sign three. We’re cooking.
The Clincher & Fumble
Confident I was Sherlock Holmes, I decided to gently confront her Monday. Lunch again. Laid out my brilliant theory. “Sarah,” I smirked, “Mike? The depth of your stapler knowledge?”
Dead. Silence.
She blinked. Slow. Put down her fork. Sighed like she was dealing with a toddler. “The big stapler is mine. I got it after he borrowed mine last week and broke it. I want the heavy duty one back.” She leaned forward. “His report? I collate reports Fridays. It was messy. My name is on it too if it looks bad. Pepper shaker was gritty.” She paused. Looked me dead in the eye. “And the water bottle email? He asked me to look for it. It was blocking the sink drain.”
She went full Virgo analysis on my own behavior! “You keep watching me watch Mike. Why? Are you into Mike?”
I choked on my salad. Totally backfired. Got grilled for five minutes about my “suspicious” lunch times and my “unusually detailed interest in office stationery.” Got served a plate of pure Virgo logic sprinkled with mild accusation.
Lesson Learned (Kinda)
So my grand experiment? Points 1,2, and 5 totally fit the “secret crush” theory. Looked textbook. But Sarah’s reality? It was Virgo efficiency, pride in her work, and annoyance at broken staplers masquerading as crush behavior. My big takeaway? Virgos got reasons for everything, even stapler choices. Those “signs”? They might look like burning arrows pointing to love, but sometimes… it’s just a broken stapler and a messy colleague. You gotta be real careful reading the signs!
Still think she likes him though. Her ears went pink when I said his name.
