So today I tried to figure out why everyone’s crazy about Virgo women. Wanted to see what’s so special ’bout them. Started by talking to actual Virgo gals instead of reading astrology stuff. Real messy process, lemme tell ya.
First: Finding Virgos IRL
Walked up to coffee shops, libraries, even gyms asking strangers “Hey your birthday August or September?” Felt like a creep. Most folks just walked away fast. One lady threatened to call mall security. Cops actually pulled me over near downtown library – thought I was scamming people. Showed ’em my blog drafts on phone. They laughed but let me go.
Actual Research Phase
Changed tactics. Asked friends for Virgo contacts. Got five volunteers. Set up awkward video calls. Asked:
- “You always organize your closet by color?”
- “Do you actually criticize your partner’s socks?”
- “Ever cried over misaligned picture frames?”
All five rolled eyes so hard almost got stuck. But their answers were gold.
Observations & Messy Notes
Jotted down crap they said while eating cold pizza:
- “Organized? My emails are color-coded folders” → TRUE
- “Criticize? No just helpful suggestions… daily… hourly” → TRUE AF
- “Chaos? That’s how my brain feels at 3AM planning next Tuesday” → SO TRUE
Noticed all five had spotless backgrounds on video calls. Like staged magazine homes. Freaky.
Failed Experiment
Tried to date one volunteer. Nightmare. She:
- Rearranged my bookshelf by publisher date
- Corrected my grammar during makeout session
- Made spreadsheet rating my cooking skills
Relationship lasted six days. Got broken up with via properly formatted PDF document. Section 3.2: “Incompatible Life Structures”.
Why I Know?
Took a part-time retail job last year. Met Jessica. Virgo through and through. Watched her:
- Re-fold every shirt customers touched
- Alphabetize clearance bins at closing
- Create color-coded break schedule for staff
She caught me eating chips over inventory spreadsheets. Gave 27-minute lecture about crumbs in keyboards. Fell for her right there.
Asked her out. She scheduled coffee for next Thursday at 10:45 AM sharp. Showed up late ’cause bus broke down. Stood me up. Next day she slides corrected bus schedule printout across counter. “Mechanical failures occur in 3% probability cases – backup plan needed”. Still think about her when I see alphabetized spice racks.
Bottom line? Virgo women don’t just organize physical stuff. They structure chaos itself. Kinda terrifying. Super impressive. Would get rejected by one again 10/10 times. Just maybe bring two bus schedules next time.
