I swear, sometimes I feel like I’m running a small, chaotic startup inside my own head, and the two co-founders—Libra and Virgo—absolutely hate each other. One side wants everything beautiful, harmonious, and easy; the other side wants everything meticulously organized, documented, and utterly flawless. The result? Total, paralyzing gridlock. I started this whole journey because I nearly torpedoed a massive project simply because I couldn’t pick the right shade of beige.
A few months back, I hit a wall with a huge consulting proposal. This was a massive contract—think six figures—and I was leading the pitch. My Virgo side immediately kicked into overdrive. I spent the first week building a spreadsheet comparing every single competitor’s past work, dissecting their proposals from three years ago, and creating a risk assessment matrix that had more color coding than a NASA mission control center. My Libra side, meanwhile, kept nagging, “It needs to look elegant! The presentation deck isn’t aesthetically pleasing enough! We must use a custom font to convey ‘balanced excellence’!”
I choked. I couldn’t move forward. I had 40 pages of analytical notes, 15 different versions of the intro slide, and I had spent two entire workdays agonizing over whether the executive summary should be centered or left-aligned. The deadline loomed. I missed two internal review meetings. My partner finally came into the office and found me staring blankly at the screen at 3 AM, weeping softly because I couldn’t decide if the primary color palette should be dusty blue or soft grey.
That was the breaking point. I realized I wasn’t striving for quality; I was striving for impossibility. The Virgo traits demanded perfection before action, and the Libra traits demanded universal appeal before commitment. I was stuck in the middle, achieving zero traction. I decided right then I had to build a system to force these two personality traits to cooperate, or I was gonna crash hard.
The Practice: Forcing Momentum Over Flawless Stasis
I threw out my risk matrix, I deleted 12 versions of the presentation, and I grabbed a pen and paper. I committed to a three-step process that basically involves setting mental boundaries and implementing mandatory self-delegation. This isn’t theoretical philosophy; this is blunt-force execution designed to shut up the internal critic and the indecisive aesthete.
1. Implement the 90% Rule and Mandatory Stop
My biggest struggle was the “final polish” phase. Virgo always found a flaw, and Libra always required one more minor adjustment for “flow.” So, I started using the 90% Rule. When I felt a task was 90% complete—meaning it was good enough to ship, functional, and comprehensible—I didn’t allow myself to touch it again for 24 hours.
I literally slapped a timer on my desk. If I was drafting an email, designing a slide, or organizing a shelf, the moment I felt that familiar itch to “just tweak one more detail,” the timer went off, and I physically walked away. This practice forced me to accept “very good” instead of chasing the mythical “perfect.” I discovered that 90% completion, delivered on time, is infinitely more valuable than 100% completion, delivered after the deadline has passed and I’ve had three panic attacks.
The trick here is the mandatory stop. You have to commit to the inertia of walking away. It’s painful at first; the Virgo side screams about the unclosed loop. But the relief of the Libra side that the thing is finally DONE quickly takes over.
2. The “Good Enough” Commitment Slap
This addresses the Libra indecision and the Virgo analysis paralysis simultaneously. Before starting any project requiring choices (like picking paint colors, software frameworks, or even where to eat lunch), I force myself to pick three plausible options within the first five minutes of thinking.
I don’t research them. I don’t weigh pros and cons initially. I just grab three options that look generally acceptable. Then, I give myself exactly fifteen minutes to narrow those three down to one. If I can’t choose, I flip a coin for commitment. Yes, seriously. I physically flipped a coin to decide on the database structure for a recent app development project when I was stuck between PostgreSQL and MySQL. The moment the coin landed, the analysis stopped.
Why this works: Libra is terrified of making the “wrong” choice and disrupting harmony. Virgo is terrified of the choice not being optimally researched. By committing to one of three “good enough” options quickly, I satisfied the need for analysis (three options were considered) but utterly bypassed the spiral of endless optimization. The stress of having made a decision is instantly less than the stress of having to decide forever.
3. Delegate the Detailing (Externalizing the Critic)
The Virgo trait loves finding flaws. The Libra trait hates criticism, especially when it comes from within. I realized I was spending massive energy both criticizing my work and trying to protect my feelings from my own criticism.
My solution was simple: I started outsourcing the brutal truth. For any major output—a spreadsheet, a written piece, a design draft—I immediately handed it off to one trusted colleague or my partner the moment I reached that 90% point.
- I told them: “Don’t tell me it’s good. Tell me where it’s flawed.”
- I told myself: “You are not the reviewer; you are the producer. Your job is finished.”
This externalized the critical process. I gave the Virgo job (finding the flaws, ensuring correctness) to someone else, freeing my creative and decisive Libra side to move onto the next task. When the feedback came back, it was external data, not internal self-loathing. It’s easier to accept a critique from a trusted source than it is to live with the self-inflicted criticism that causes internal paralysis.
Since implementing these rules, I’ve actually gotten the proposal done, and we won the contract. More importantly, I feel like I can breathe again. The constant tug-of-war between demanding perfection and desiring peace hasn’t disappeared, but I’ve built a solid fence between them. The key is forcing the action and valuing momentum over the paralyzing pursuit of flawless balance.
