Man, March 2022. What a weird time. I was just stuck, right? Feeling totally burned out at the old spot. I’d been shuffling papers and clicking buttons for three years, and nothing was moving. Zero career momentum. It was pure monotony.
I remember one Tuesday morning I was on my second cup of coffee, staring at the screen, and I just typed some nonsense into the search bar. I think it was something dumb like “get rich quick Virgo” or something equally desperate. That’s how I landed on this stupid article about the Virgo Career March 2022 Horoscope. It promised some massive shift, something about a ‘cosmic alignment’ opening doors. Sounded like total garbage, but I was bored enough to read the whole thing.
The Setup: Buying Into the Bull
The reading was specific. It said if I made a bold move in the first two weeks of March, I’d land exactly where I needed to be. It went on about ‘professional recognition’ and ‘unforeseen opportunities.’ I usually trash this stuff, but the timing felt right. It gave me a random deadline, which is something I always need to kick my butt into gear.
I figured, what the hell. I’d use this silly prediction as my personal project timeline. I gave myself exactly three weeks, starting immediately, to execute a full job hunt. The horoscope might be fake, but the work wasn’t going to do itself.
Here was my process, from zero to something:
- Week One: Scrape the Barrel. First, I ripped apart my old resume. It was ancient. I spent the entire weekend just updating the achievements. I didn’t embellish, but I made sure every stupid little project I’d ever done was listed with some kind of measurable success. I threw together a rough portfolio page just to have something modern to show, even though it looked amateur. I used a free template, barely customized it. It was functional, barely.
- Week Two: The Mass Launch. Monday morning I started blasting applications out. I didn’t filter. I applied for jobs I was 100% qualified for, and jobs I was maybe 50% qualified for. I used every job board, every connection, every email I still had. I probably sent out sixty applications that week. Most of the cover letters were copy-pasted, just changing the company name and title. I was just trying to hit volume. The horoscope said a door would open. I was trying to kick down sixty doors at once, just in case.
- Week Three: The Quiet Wait. This was the tough part. No one called me back for days. Crickets. I was feeling like a total idiot for letting a three-year-old astrology article dictate my life. I was ready to just give up and go back to feeling miserable at the old job. I remember thinking, “Great, March 2022 is going to reveal I should just stay put and drink my weak coffee.”
The Twist: When Zero Belief Pays Off
Then, the phone rang. It was late February, actually, a few days before the March window the chart mentioned. Totally ruined the magic of the prophecy, but I wasn’t complaining.
It was a headhunter I’d met years ago at a stupid conference. He said he saw I’d updated my LinkedIn profile—one of the things I did during Week One—and he had a lead. This opportunity wasn’t some cosmic reward; it was a rough-and-tumble startup looking for someone to just jump in and start coding immediately. No time for fancy interviews, just a quick chat and a practical test.
I took the test. It was brutal. I messed up on a couple of parts, but I finished it. I flew through two quick interviews. My brain was still in ‘Week Two Application Blitz’ mode, so I was answering quickly and directly, no fluff.
The realization hit me hard. I got the call with the offer right in the middle of March 2022. It wasn’t because Jupiter aligned with Mars or some garbage. It was because the fake pressure of that goofy horoscope made me do the real, actual, hard work of updating my files and hitting ‘send’ sixty times.
The horoscope revealed nothing about my job success. I revealed my job success by using the horoscope as an arbitrary, ridiculous alarm clock. If I hadn’t read that piece of nonsense, I would have spent March 2022 doing exactly what I did in February: nothing. The planets didn’t give me the opportunity; I made the application, I took the test, I earned the call. But hey, I got a new gig out of it, and that’s the only log entry that matters.
