So yesterday I’m scrolling through my phone, feeling kinda stuck in a rut. You know those days when everything feels blah? That’s me this whole week. Then I remember AOL does those monthly horoscopes—free stuff, why not? Even though I’m usually skeptical about astrology, my buddy kept pestering me about Virgo season being “transformative.” Fine, I’ll bite.
Finding the Horoscope Is Weirdly Complicated
First I google “AOL Virgo monthly.” Instead of the horoscope, I get 50 ads for psychic hotlines. Scrolled past six search results before spotting AOL’s legit page. They hid it behind this obnoxious popup asking for my birthday—clicked it away fast. Finally! There’s the headline screaming:“Virgo: Your Cosmic Reset Button Is Pressed!”. Cheesy? Hell yes. But I was bored enough to keep reading.
Okay, That Free Guide? Here’s the Scoop
Turns out the “free guide” is just bullet points shoved between ads for tarot readings. The actual content:
- Some fluff about “rethinking routines” (I already meal prep, thanks)
- A warning Mercury retrograde might mess with Wi-Fi (rolled my eyes hard)
- Told me to “embrace vulnerability” by journaling
Journaling? I last journaled in 7th grade. But whatever—grabbed an old notebook and scribbled for 10 minutes about work stress. Surprisingly… not awful? Didn’t solve anything, but felt lighter.
The Unexpectedly Useful Part
Near the end, one line actually stuck: “Say ‘no’ to one obligation draining you.” Realized I’d said yes to hosting my niece’s sleepover this weekend. Texted my sister “Can’t do Saturday—emergency work thing.” Lied? Maybe. But now I get a whole free Saturday to nap and watch soccer. Massive win!
Final take? It’s mostly generic advice wrapped in space jargon. But hey—free, took 5 minutes, and gave me back a weekend. Worth skimming if you’re a Virgo with nothing to lose.
