So, the question everyone kept throwing around back in April 2023 was whether a Virgo’s career or money situation was going to magically look up in May. I saw that headline pop up everywhere, and honestly, I just laughed. But then, I went and read it anyway.
I’m a Virgo, yeah, but I stopped believing in magic years ago. You want things to improve? You don’t wait for Mars to align; you align your checkbook. That said, I took the horoscope as a challenge. I decided to treat this vague, flowery prediction as a 30-day corporate mandate to actually improve my money situation. And I documented the whole stupid thing.
Why this obsession with May 2023? Well, let me tell you why I had to force myself into this “cosmic compliance.” It wasn’t because I needed a motivational poster.
A few years back, I had this side gig, a little thing I was building up, that was supposed to be my escape route. I was sure I had cracked the code. I had quit my main job and was living off savings, convinced that in six months, I’d be cruising. Then, wham, one of the main platform partners I relied on got bought out, and they just shuttered the entire integration service overnight. No warning. No severance. Just a cold email saying, “Thanks for playing.”
My entire income stream, which I had spent two years building, evaporated. I mean, gone. I sat there staring at the screen, and my stomach just dropped out. I didn’t just lose income; I lost the confidence that any single venture could be trusted. My savings disappeared faster than ice cream on a hot day. I had to scramble and beg for freelance work just to cover the rent. It was an ugly, desperate period where I learned that predictions—even ones you make for yourself—are trash if they aren’t backed by cold, hard, diversified reality.
So, when May 2023 rolled around, and the stars were promising Virgos “financial stability and new opportunities,” I wasn’t waiting around for a lottery ticket. I was executing a plan. I was going to beat the universe at its own game.
The 30-Day Virgo Financial Bootcamp I Executed
The horoscope wasn’t specific. It just promised “improvement.” Fine. I decided the only way to improve was to track, prune, and plant.
Tracking: I Needed a Forensic Audit
- I opened a new Google Sheet. Not some fancy app. Just a raw spreadsheet.
- I connected every single bank and credit card statement to it. This was messy and tedious.
- I logged every coffee, every gas refill, every pointless click-purchase. I mean every single penny.
- I stared at the data for a week. I had to physically look at where I was leaking cash. It turns out I was bleeding about $300 a month on “small stuff.” Lunch out, subscription services I forgot existed, stupid app purchases. I documented it all.
Pruning: Killing the Weeds
This was the satisfying part. True Virgo energy, maybe.
- I cancelled three different streaming services I hadn’t touched in six months. They were just sitting there, sucking $45 a month for nothing.
- I downloaded all my car insurance documents and shopped them around. It took two hours. I saved $110 a month by switching carriers for the exact same coverage. That’s a grand a year for two hours of work.
- I called my cell provider and yelled at them (nicely, but firmly) until they put me on a cheaper plan. Another $20 gone from the monthly outflow.
This pruning process alone, by May 15th, had freed up about $175 a month, tax-free, and permanent. That’s a tangible, real improvement. The stars had nothing to do with it; a calculator did.
Planting: New Seeds for New Money
The horoscope had the audacity to mention “new opportunities.” So, I went out and made one. I wasn’t waiting for an email from a recruiter.
- I identified one simple, marketable skill I had that I wasn’t using: writing clear, simple product descriptions.
- I spent two evenings creating three sample listings.
- I opened a profile on a small, niche freelance board.
- I set my rate intentionally low, just high enough to not feel like charity, but low enough to get the first bite. I started at $25 per description.
- I landed my first gig by May 25th. I wrote five descriptions and earned $125. It wasn’t a fortune, but it was new money—money that came directly from taking action based on a specific plan, not a vague promise.
- I moved that whole $125 straight into a new, separate savings account I labeled “Emergency Buffer.”
So, did the Virgo career horoscope for May 2023 “improve” things? No. The vague prediction was useless. But treating it like a mandatory project charter worked wonders. I took a piece of nonsense and turned it into a system. I tracked the chaos, cut the waste, and built a new, tiny revenue stream. That monthly improvement I secured by May 30th wasn’t cosmic; it was a matter of sheer force of will and a lot of honest spreadsheet time.
If you’re waiting for the planets to align, you’re just wasting time. Go open that spreadsheet. That’s the real money tip.
